What Children Do Not Want From Their Parents

If there are some things we do not want our children to do, there are also some things our children do not want us to do. This logic is not being realized by some parents because they think that they are intelligent enough and know everything about being good. Parenting is not a one-sided relationship, but rather a two-way street where both of you could smoothly pass. To realize what I am trying to say, view these points and see what you might be missing.

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Additional Tips on How to Protect our Children from Bad Influences On Line

Last month, I made a post with the same title. Now, I have gathered additional tips on how to protect our children when they are on line.

1.0 Do not allow your children to play on-line computer games especially when they are just renting somewhere. Not only that it is addictive but they will think that violence is just a game. These games are for adults only.

2.0 If they have to do some research for their homework, join them while they are browsing in front of the PC. If you are not available, ask a trusted adult to watch over them. It is better if you require your child to inform you in advance so that you can adjust your schedule.

3.0 Provide passwords on your PC so that you can be sure they cannot use it without your consent. Change them regularly because your child might learn about them.

4.0 Do not expose your child’s photos, real name and other personal information anywhere on the net, especially if your child blogs. Devils on line are just waiting for a chance to catch their prey.

5.0 Place your PC where you can easily see what is on the screen. The best location is the living room, rather than in a closed room.

6.0 If you think you are not capable to monitor your child’s activities while he or she is on line, do not allow him or her at all. Require your child to wait for the right time.

Internet, just like riding a bike or reading a book is very useful to children, but can be harmful to if not being guided properly.

For children who will be reading this: follow your parents. They know what is best for you.

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How to help a Lonely Child

A lonely child can start as early as four years old, especially when the child is less capable with other children in terms of physical and mental abilities. He will feel rejection and isolation which will prevent him more to socialize. He will enjoy playing alone, and this problem can be brought until he grows older. If this happens, it will be more difficult to solve. Therefore, parents and teachers should start making steps and here are some of them.

Encourage him to befriend a more sociable child

By doing this, your child will likely be influenced by his friend. Although he will find it hard in the beginning, your child will later be following his friend’s actions and his confidence will gradually build up. If you pair him with a lonely child like him, he will not improve.

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Sleeping tips for Children of all ages

Sleep is very important factor to a child's health and growth. It promotes alertness, memory and performance. Children who get enough sleep are more likely to function better and are less prone to behavioral problems and moodiness. That is why it is important for parents to start early and help their children develop good sleep habits. Here are some very helpful tips on how parents ensure that their children have enough sleep:

Tips for Newborns

1.0 Observe the baby's sleep patterns and identify signs of sleepiness
2.0 Put baby in the crib when drowsy, not asleep
3.0 Place baby to sleep on his/her back with face and head clear of blankets and other soft items
4.0 The crib should be safety approved
5.0 A quiet and dark room at a comfortable temperature is best for sleep
6.0 Encourage nighttime sleep

Tips for Infants

1.0 Develop a regular daily bedtime schedule
2.0 Create a consistent and enjoyable bedtime routine
3.0 Establish a regular "sleep friendly" environment
4.0 Encourage your baby to fall asleep independently and to become a "self-soother."

Tips for Toddlers

1.0 Maintain a daily sleep schedule and consistent bedtime routine
2.0 The bedroom environment should be the same every night and throughout the night
3.0 Set limits
4.0 Encourage use of a security object
5.0 Develop a regular daily bedtime schedule

Tips for Preschoolers

1.0 Maintain a regular and consistent sleep schedule
2.0 Follow-through with a bedtime routine every night
3.0 The child should have the same sleeping environment every night. It should be cool, quiet and dark and without a TV.
4.0 Watch for difficulty breathing, unusual nighttime awakenings, chronic sleep problems, and behavioral problems during the day.

Tips for School-Age Children

1.0 Introduce healthy sleep habits, disease prevention and health promotion
2.0 Continue to emphasize the need for a regular and consistent sleep schedule and bedtime routine
3.0 The child's bedroom should be conducive to sleep: dark, cool and quiet. TV's and computers should be off and out of the bedroom.
4.0 Set limits
5.0 Avoid caffeine
6.0 Watch for signs of chronic difficulty sleeping, loud snoring, difficulty breathing, unusual nighttime awakenings and frequent daytime sleepiness.

According to child sleep experts, here are the required numbers of sleeping hours our children must have:

INFANTS
(0 to 2 months)…………..……10-1/2 to 18 hours*
(2-12 months)…………………..14 to 15 hours*

TODDLERS/CHILDREN
(12-18 months)…………………13 to 15 hours*
(18 months-3 years)…………12 to 14 hours*
(3-5 years) ……………………….11 to 13 hours*
(5-12 years) ……………………..9 to 11 hours

ADOLESCENTS…………………8-1/2 to 9-1/2 hours

This post is an excerpt from various articles of National Sleep Foundation.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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What your Child’s First Teacher Should Know

Before your child will have his first school day, it is advisable that you meet first with his teacher. This is very essential to both parties, especially to your child since it will be the start of a new world for him. Here are some serious topics you should be able to discuss about.

1.0 Your child’s activities and routines. This includes favorite foods, toilet and sleeping habits and his temperament and activities that your child enjoys doing. After his teacher understands them, it will be easier for both your child and his teacher to bond with each other, and you child will then enjoy his schooling.

2.0 Your home life. It will be helpful for your child’s teacher if she knows what is new in your house that may affect your child. Some examples includes new family pet, a member in the family who is in the hospital or away from home, or any other small changes in the house. These things can also be an added topic when they are in their light moods.

3.0 Your child’s character. His teacher must know how your child expresses his anger, sadness and when he is scared, strange behaviors, as well as the meaning of your child’s facial expression when he cannot express himself. By learning about this, his teacher can comfort and pacify him in such cases.

4.0 Your child’s approach towards other children. His teacher must know how your child interacts with other children, in both sexes. This is very important especially if he is the only child in the house, or he is a loner. His teacher then can adjust herself when approaching your child, and aware his child’s classmates.

5.0 Your own feelings. As a parent, you can be a nervous as your child. You may also have questions to ask his teacher. She should also know your expectations and something about you that is related to your child’s study. It is not only your child that must have bonding with your teacher; it is also a must for you.

Teachers are the second parents of our child, but it is our duty to help them.

This post was inspired by Jan Drucker, Ph.D. and his article entitled What Teachers Want Parents to know (and Vice Versa) on Scholastic Parent & Child magazine September 2004 issue.

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An Appeal from a Blogger Parent

I love blogging about being a good parent because I am learning a lot, and I am happy that somehow I am able to help other parents and child bloggers. However, when I started to look for some directories where I can submit this blog, it took me four straight hours to find one that has a category for parents. And sad to say, only few blogs about parenting have been submitted.

Unfortunately, there are numerous blogs about nonsense in most directories I visited and making money. I know I may sound absurd to some of you and you call me any name that you like. But the truth hurts, all of us working hard to earn money for the future of our children, and yet we forget who we are working for.

Maybe I was not just lucky enough to spot my target at once. I hope I was wrong, I wish there are a lot of directories where parents are the star bloggers. With this, I am appealing to all directory owners to consider adding a category for parents because after all, you are a parent or a future parent.

For parents who own a blog like mine, I will be thankful if you could provide me some directories where I can submit this blog.

But for now, I am very thankful to Lama Web Directory for having a heart, and how I wish more blogs will be submitted to your parenting category.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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10 Bad Reasons why Children Hate to Stay Home

Photo credit to Fazeal Mah

When your teenagers start having friends within your community, or have close classmates with the same gender or not, they will be leaving your house regularly. They will even go straight to other places instead of going home. The more you tell them to stay home, you more they will not follow you. They will also tend to make stories just to leave the house. Though this is quite normal for them, you must be a keen observer because they may have some problems you do not realize.

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Why you Should Allow your Children to Blog

When I was just starting here as a blogger, I realized there are also children as young as 12 years old who blogs since they were ten. Their ideas are great, and some of them are earning even higher than I do. I was wondering how these blogger children are enjoying what they do, and here are some things I noticed:

1.0 They can express themselves without any hinder, and talk to older people without hesitation.
2.0 They can create their own identity and boost their talent and self-confidence.
3.0 They can meet new friends who can learn a lot from, and share opinions and ideas as well.
4.0 They can improve their communication skills especially in writing, as well as reading.
5.0 They can discover new vocabulary words, histories that haven’t been taught in school, and keep updated on different facts around the world.
6.0 They can learn to analyze things by their own, and experiment on things they wish.
7.0 They can keep themselves away from bad influences of the real world, like illegal drugs.
8.0 They can stay at home regularly which makes them safer.
9.0 They can correct their mistakes without being afraid to be punished.
10.0 They can have more bonding with their parents, especially if the parents are bloggers too.
11.0 They can learn to manage their time and organize heir activities.
12.0 They can inspire us adults like Meghna is doing to me right now. In fact, I made her a poem as sign of my deepest gratitude.

However, there are still some restrictions that parents should observe very strictly:

1.0 Studies should still be child’s first priority.
2.0 Health should also be considered, especially when the child stays too long in front of the PC.
3.0 They should always have enough time to sleep, rest and play.
4.0 Know the sites they visit, topics that they blog and people they meet on line. They might be influence by what they thought is correct.
5.0 If he is earning, you still have the right to keep his money. Make sure that it is being spent wisely.
6.0 Make sure that the PC he is using is protected from bad influences on line.
7.0 Blogging is enjoyable, but he already wants to stop, so be it. Do not force him on anything unless you are sure it will harm him.

If my daughter who is now 11 years old asks me to allow her to blog, I will support her all the way, provided by the restrictions I mentioned above.

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The Best Christmas gift to your Children: Their Safety

Christmas is just around the corner, and Christians are seeing it as the best season to celebrate with their family, relatives, and friends and of course, children. During this season, children are very excited to receive gifts, and have new clothes, toys and other stuffs. However, in this time of holiday shopping, parents tend to bring their children too. With the crowded places and busy people in public places, parents should realize the unexpected danger that will come. So here are some guarding tips parents may learn from:

1.0 When my son was 5 years old, he had problems with his speech. When we shop or just go window shopping, my wife writes his name, our telephone numbers and address in a piece of paper; and put it on his pocket. So if a Good Samaritan finds him, our boy can be returned to us easily. You can also do this even your child has normal speech capability.

2.0 Before leaving your house, remind your child all the safety information he must know, like not letting go off your hand, or sight. Explain to him what will be the consequences in case he will be lost. He will be cautious somehow.

3.0 Do not expect your child to always hold your hand or dress. Check him regularly and be sure it is your child who is holding yours. It is much better to know exactly where to shop and have a list so that you can leave the mall at once.

4.0 Do not be distracted by other shoppers. They might be just disguising in order to fool you, and later your child will be kidnapped. Never trust strangers to look over your child even if they look decent.

5.0 Always bring him with you even in rest rooms. If your child is grown up, let him/her wait very near the restroom and talk to each other to ensure that he is still there.

6.0 Memorize your child’s clothes and shoes, and tell him how to recognize you easily in case he had gone quite far. It is better if both of you will wear bright colors and easier to describe.

7.0 For toddlers, you may consider using a cute but long enough harness to tie you somehow. For babies, it is better to bring along someone with you to carry him, instead of placing him in a stroller.

8.0 Know where the emergency exits are, or a safe place to hide in case of commotion. Learn also how to react in case of emergency such as fire, earthquakes, etc.

9.0 Shop early; do not join the holiday rush. The more people inside the shopping mall, the longer time to shop and the more dangerous it is.

10.0 My best tip: do not bring your child when shopping. You can take his/her body and feet measurements anyway. Absence of body is better than presence of mind.

As they say, Christmas is for children and therefore we must give them the best gift ever, the priceless ones!

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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The Truth about Lies

When a child can already distinguish fantasy from reality, which is from age three to four, he will now be capable of lying. This can be a serious problem in the future if parents will just ignore it. According to Dr. Mirriam Stoppard, there are different purposes why a child will tell a lie:

1.0 Exploratory: This is to see how a parent will react. A good example would be telling that he does not want the food but he ate it all. This is serious and should be discouraged because there is a great tendency that he will do this repeatedly until he gets use to it.

2.0 Bragging: This is when a child tells exaggerated stories to impress his friends and to boost his self-confidence. Although it is not really harmless, this must be discouraged because when his friends will learn that he is lying, then he might loose them.

3.0 Make-believe: This is when the child mixes fantasy with reality. Monsters and fairies are among of those a child would tell his parents that he sees, when in reality it is just his imagination. This is not dangerous since it is normal for a child to be in a fantasy world.

4.0 Cover-up: This is very dangerous situation. It is being deliberately done to avoid punishment and it can be upgraded as the child grows. Parents should be careful in dealing this. Punishing or not punishing your child might still lead him to lie again.

Here are some of the actions parents should make:

1.0 Act calmly. A child may sometimes be confused fantasy from reality.
2.0 Understand his motives. Maybe he is just afraid to be punished.
3.0 Explain to him the consequences of his actions. You may site simple examples.
4.0 Make your punishments reasonable. If not, he will lie again.
5.0 Show anger but let him be aware that you still love him in spite of his wrongdoing.
6.0 For bragging, increase his self-esteem and help him bring back his confidence.
7.0 Never hurt or curse your child. If you are consistent with this, you are just encouraging him to tell a lie again.

If you want to live a life, honesty is still the best policy.

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What does Love mean? According to children...

If you think children do not know what love is, think again.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8-year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

1.0 "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8
2.0 "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
3.0 "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
4.0 "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
5.0 "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
6.0 "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
7.0 "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8
8.0 "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
9.0 "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
10.0 "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
11.0 "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
12.0 "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
13.0 "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
14.0 "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5
15.0 "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt." Chris - age 7
16.0 "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
17.0 "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
18.0 "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7
19.0 "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
20.0 And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry....."

This is a forwarded mail send to me about a year ago, but I just realized recently that one of the recipients of this mail was Ms. Lea Salonga, the world reknowned Filipina artist, and became the most admired artist who performed as Kim in Miss Saigon, and who is now a parent herself.

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Sex Talk with Children

When our young children start to wonder of the things they see, it also includes sex. They are intelligent individuals and asking questions about sexuality is nothing but normal. However, if the parents are not prepared to answer them, they will make their children even more confused. And here is what child experts would say:

1.0 Tell the right words without laughing, like “penis” and “vagina”. Never use confusing words like butterflies and flowers. There is nothing wrong with telling the truth.
2.0 Be literal and formal. Reproduction cannot easily be understood by younger children but you can teach them some technical words like uterus, egg and sperm cell meeting together and give some examples they can understand.
3.0 Emphasize that sex is sacred, that it is one way of couples showing love for each other and should only be done privately. Homosexuality is very difficult to explain to young children, but you can simply say that people are different from each other.
4.0 Teach your child how to take care of his/her sensitive parts, as well as personal hygiene. Your child should also understand he/she should not let other people see his/her private parts, maybe only by chance.
5.0 When your child already understands the news, you can explain to her how rape is different from sex, and how it can be avoided. Young girls should be taught how to sit properly, and do not allow them to pee just anywhere they want to. This goes with young boys too.

REMEMBER: Children cannot avoid being curious about sexuality. However it is our obligation as adults to guide them, and teaching them about sex without malice is very important.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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When to Allow our Children to Work

AFGHAN CHILD LABOR photos by Chien-Min Chung

Children who have extra talent and time sometimes have the opportunity to work and get paid. It can be an educational experience for them to value time and money. However, before you allow them, you should observe the following:

1.0 It must be less important than school. If he has to sacrifice one of them, then it must be the work.
2.0 It must be decided by your child, not you or anyone else. Do not force or brainwash them to do it.
3.0 It must be balanced with play, proper exercise and rest. It is their right to grow as a normal child.
4.0 It must be safe and not be harmful to their health and development.
5.0 It must be supervised by an adult at all times and trials should be performed first.
6.0 It must not be beyond the capacity of your child.
7.0 It must be clear to him where his salary should go. Do not use your child to help your family needs.
8.0 It must not pressure him. If you think he cannot handle it anymore, let him stop.
9.0 It must be advantageous to him, not to his employer.
10.0 It must be with accordance with the law, complete with all the necessary documents and license if applicable.

Remember that it is our duty as parents to work for our children and NOT vice versa.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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How to Have the Best Nanny

Sometimes we need to have a nanny to help us in taking care of our children. Nannies are common in a family where the mother is working to earn a living. However, here are very important steps to be followed to have the best ones:

History

Nothing is better than to know her history and background. It is advisable to get from an agency rather than just someone who has been being recommended by a friend or neighbor. Though it may cost a bit, you can be sure that the nanny you got had passed the criteria a nanny must possessed. If she had past experiences, it would be better if you ask her previous employer about her performance. You can also verify her records from the police department or any other related government office. It is better that she is also a mother or has younger siblings that she took care of.

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Confession of a Smoking Parent

I admit, I am one of them, and I have no good reason to justify my smoking. I stopped many times but I am weak to temptation. After all that has been said about the bad effect of smoking, I still keep on doing it, and I hate myself for doing it. However, please allow me to share what I am doing about it:

1.0 I do not smoke inside our house, whether my children are there or not. After eating, as they are the best times to smoke, I go outside and far away to smoke and chew some refreshing gum to make my breath fresh when I got home.
2.0 I do not smoke in public places, and anywhere where there are other people especially children. Of course, there are no children allowed in a smoking area.
3.0 I regulated myself, ranging from 5 to 8 sticks of cigarettes a day; and I do not bring a lighter when I travel.
4.0 I do not smoke 1 hour before I go home, and chew some refreshing gum during the trip.
5.0 I am conscious of what I am doing. Believe it or not, but I am planning to stop, hopefully before I got sick.

Yes, I know that there is no such thing as responsible smoker. Again, I know I cannot justify my bad habit, and I welcome and will not delete all the bad comments you can give, but I will appreciate more if you will give me some inspirational tips.

To all people especially parents, I know I may not be in the right position to say this, but do not put aside your health as well as other people especially your children, follow the BEST TIP YET: DO NOT START!

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The Healthy Way to Cook Instant Noodles

I truly believe that good parenting also includes healthy cooking especially for our children...

TWO WAYS OF COOKING INSTANT NOODLES:

THE USUAL WAY:

1.0 Put the noodles into a pot with water.
2.0 Throw in the powder.
3.0 Let it cook for around 3 minutes.

Believe it or not, this is the WRONG method of cooking the instant noodles. By doing this, when we actually boil the ingredients in the powder, normally with MSG, it will change the molecular structures of the MSG causing it to be toxic.The other thing that you may or may not realized is that, the noodles are coated with wax and it will take around 4 to 5 days for the body to excrete the wax after you have taken the noodles.

UNUSUAL WAY: (THE HEALTHIER WAY)

1.0 Boil the noodles in a pot with water.
2.0 Once the noodles are cooked, take out the noodles, and throw away the water which contains WAX.
3.0 Boil another pot of water till boiling and put the noodles into the hot boiling water and then shut the fire.
4.0 While the water is very hot, put the ingredient with the powder into the water, to make noodle soup.
5.0 However, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles and add the ingredient with the powder and toss it to get dry noodles.

SOMETIMES YOU MUST RESEARCH IF THE USUAL WAY IS THE CORRECT WAY!!!

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We are sending our Children to School by Guardian Angel

Below is my comment to WE DON’T SEND OUR CHILDREN TO SCHOOL by Bo Sanchez which was previously at the bottom of the said post. However, I decided to cut-paste it here as a new post because I feel it would be better here. So here it is again:

I admire the love of Mr. Bo Sanchez to his child and his quest for a safer, more economical and time saving kind of schooling, not to mention the incredible relationship with his kids. However, when I discover other options about doing things, I try to weigh the pros and cons. I have read and understand the pros, and just want to share some cons that I think you should think about too:

1.0 Whatever you do during homeschooling, no matter what you do to imitate the real school, the truth is that you are not still in the real world. This means that people are of many kinds and you cannot put all of them in a homeschool. It is sometimes hard to distinguish a bad guy if you do not see him in person. If that is the case, how can you prepare to defend yourself?

2.0 After homeschooling, what is next, homework? Although there are jobs or work that you can do at home (like blogging), you still have to go outside of your home sometimes, somehow. And in these times, your child will be amazed on what he will see and might ask “This do not really look that bad, why did Mama never showed this to me?”

3.0 It is quite hard to imagine that you being a parent and his school teacher at the same time. Besides that you may not always have the time, your student’s blood is yours, too. There will always be a common line between the two of you, which is almost the same line that you have to separate from you as his parent and as his teacher.

4.0 Based on my experience, youth are more delicate to handle than toddlers. This is because they now can cry for freedom. They tend to discover the outside world, and they want to do it without our presence. If we do not allow them, a rebel will be born.

5.0 Even if you plan to homeschool your child until grade school only, this is still scary. It is like letting a bird out of its cage, but cannot even move its wings alone. Besides falling, the more scary part is that there are wild beasts out there to eat him alive and tear him into pieces while he is falling.

There might be other cons that I did not mention, but the bottom line is real people can only be seen in a real world. There will always be evil because there will always be good and since we cannot always avoid the devils, so why not prepare your child to meet them?

I finished my grade school in a public school, started to earn a living when I was 10, doing odd jobs in the busy streets of Manila, finished high school at Quezon City while selling cigarettes and fetching water for our neighbours in a slum area, and graduated college where pimps and drugs are just around the corner which are being sold like candies. I fell down many times, but stood up brilliantly, as a person and now as a parent. Though I do not want my children to pass where I had been, I am not closing the doors of possibilities. But I am preparing a window and strengthen their wings in case they have to fly away to escape, while sharpening their claws in case they have to defend themselves especially when I am already gone.

NOTE: I cannot invite or discourage you to do something I never tried; I am just here to advise you to check all the corners of the chair before sitting on it.

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We don't send our Children to School by Bo Sanchez

It’s one of the best decisions we’ve ever made:

We know. We’re nuts. We don't send our children to school. Let me tell you why. When our baby was growing up, we watched how everyone did the schooling thing—and we didn’t like it. This is what we saw:

1.0 Early morning, parents send off the kids to school while they both go to work. Its rush, rush, rush. At 7am, everyone is out of the house, plowing through morning traffic.
2.0 At around 7 in the evening (if there’s no overtime), these exhausted parents arrive home like dried prunes. They have dinner with the kids but have no energy to talk to each other—so they put on the TV and watch telenovelas together. After dinner, Mommy helps Junior with homework.

Let’s say today, the kid’s got homework in Math, English, and Filipino. In Filipino, Junior’s project is to put the photos of 12 National Filipino Heroes on a cartolina. Because it’s already 10pm, Junior is now asleep. So Mommy is cutting photos of the heroes from old magazines, and Daddy is pasting them on the cartolina. The day ends at midnight. Another long day waits…

We wanted another kind of Family Life

We asked ourselves. Is this the lifestyle we really want? Or do we want something else for our kids and our family? We decided to do something radical. We won’t send our kids to school. Instead, we’ll teach them ourselves. Result? We’ve been doing it for four years now and my son Bene is in 3rd Grade. That means my wife and I are his teachers, our home is his classroom, our kitchen is his canteen, and our street is his school yard. Poor kid, right? People tell me he’s missing a lot because we homeschool him. Hey, I agree.

Let me give you a partial list of what he’s missing:

1.0 He doesn’t have to wake up at 6:00am everyday to catch the school bus. He doesn’t have to experience being dressed-up and “tooth brushed” by his mother while asleep so he won’t be late for school. He doesn’t have to wolf down his breakfast while rushing out.
2.0 He doesn’t have to ride a school bus. (Ow, shucks.) He doesn’t have to wade through traffic twice a day.
3.0 He doesn’t have to fight with forty kids for the attention of a teacher.
4.0 He doesn’t have to waste a lot of time waiting in school. (Which I feel consumes 30% of school time each day.) He doesn’t have to wait for everyone to line-up for the National Anthem. 5.0 He doesn’t have to wait for everyone to quiet down before the teacher starts teaching. He doesn’t have to wait for the teacher to explain the lesson a second for those who weren’t listening…
6.0 He doesn’t have to eat sugary snacks in the school canteen.
7.0 He doesn’t get bullied. No jeers. No barbs. No meanness.
8.0 He doesn’t have peer pressure to buy the latest rubber shoe, the newest cell phone, the coolest shirt. He doesn’t have to compare his daily allowance with his classmates.
9.0 He doesn’t have homework when he arrives from school. Nada. None. Zilcho. Zero. He doesn’t have school projects that mommies end up doing anyway.

Instead, here’s what My Son has…

1.0 He wakes up at 8:00am. If the entire family attended a prayer meeting the previous night, he wakes up at 9:00am. No problem.
2.0 He has time to say his morning prayers in bed. He joins his mom reading the Bible together. He then takes a relaxing breakfast with his little brother Francis, read his books, plays the guitar and the two of them clown around the house.
3.0 He starts class at 9:00am. Each morning, he sings the Philippine National Anthem, says the Panatang Makabayan, and prays his morning school prayer on his own.
4.0 In every subject, he has the undivided attention of his devoted teacher. He can ask any question he wants, anytime he wants, and his teacher will answer him. When he doesn’t know the answer, he says, “Let’s research for the answer now.” And they log onto the internet, read a few books, and viola—the answer is found… together.
5.0 He and his mother love talking about their faith. They also like singing together.
6.0 He can tell his teacher, “Mommy, I want to know more about stars. Can we read about that tomorrow?” And his mother will say, “Let’s make that our science class for today!” And because it’s his interest, he needs no prodding to study. He wants to learn. He loves it.
7.0 He can tell his teacher, “Mommy, I don’t understand this math problem. Can we slow it down a bit?” And his mother will say, “Sure thing. Let’s go through it one more time…” until he’s totally satisfied.
8.0 Classes are only from Monday to Thursday. While every Friday morning, he meets other homeschooled kids. They play together, do art work together, sing together, and just have enormous fun. (Yes, homeschooled kids have shown to be very sociable and confident, due to high self-esteem.)
9.0 Every Tuesday afternoon, he attends a gymnastics class. Again, we don’t force him to do it. He loves tumbling, cartwheeling, and running around with the other kids.
10.0 Each day, his class ends at 2pm or 3pm. But that’s because class was so exciting, both mother and son didn’t want to stop.
11.0 After his class, my son goes out and rides the bike with his cousin or they play with the computer together. In the evening, since there’s no homework, he reads whatever books he likes to read. My suspicion? Because he’s interested in reading the books he chooses, he probably learns more in his free time than in his formal class time!
12.0 When I’m free, I teach him how to compose songs and improve his guitar playing (That’s his Music Class), how to write short stories (That’s his English elective), and how to expand his bangus or milkfish business (That’s Entrepreneurship 101). Yes, he sells fish to our friends, and he divides his profits to tithes, alms, savings, and toy money! (Personal Finance 101). When my son hit 7 years old, I taught him how to read the Business section of the Newspaper. He loves asking about the stock market. He knows that we have to buy “low” and sell “high”.
13.0 In all these, the greatest benefit is really having an incredible relationship with our kids.
We love homeschooling. Aside from all these benefits, we save a lot of money. We also don’t spend on daily allowance, school bus, etc. So we’re saving a bundle.

I know homeschooling is not for everyone. But it should at least be looked at. I’ve trained myself that we shouldn’t live like everyone else if we believe that there’s a better way out there. Explore. Search. Look at options. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll discover.

I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez

I have decided to transfer my comments on a new post by Guardian Angel.

Article Source:What Parents Should Realize

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How to Protect our Children from Bad Influences On Line

My daughter who is now 11 years old starts to use the internet for her school works and leisure time. Oftentimes I show her this blog especially if there are inspiring comments. However, there are times I allow her to surf the net without my presence. This is because I am working on an office with no relation of blogging, and my wife is too busy with the household activities. With this, I am afraid with what my daughter would see when she is alone. So I decided to think of ways and did some research, and here is what I got.

Even when they don't intend to, most children run into pornography, gambling and even predators on the Internet. Consider these shocking statistics:

1.0 70 percent (70%) of all 15-17 year-olds who have ever gone online have accidentally stumbled across pornography online, 23 percent "very" or "somewhat" often. (Kaiser Family Foundation study, 2001)
2.0 20 percent (20%) of children ages 10-17 have received a sexual solicitation over the Internet. (The Web's Dark Secret; Newsweek, 19 March, 2001)
3.0 43 percent (43%) of children said they do not have rules about Internet use in their homes. (Time/CNN Poll, 2000)
4.0 17 percent of parents believe their children are posting online profiles, as compared to 45 percent of children who report doing this. (Internet Safety for Kids; Protocol Analysis Institute)

Therefore, we have to use all our rights and strength to keep these bad influences away from the sight of our innocent children. So here are some helpful tips:

1.0 Explain them to your children and its bad effect if they see them. However, you have to use the right words which will depend on their age.
2.0 I have been saying this repeatedly, but I have to say it again. Be the role model. Do not open these sites with adult content in front of your children. But if you really cannot help yourself in doing so, open them only if you are alone, and be sure you close them properly so that there will be a minimal chance that your child will surf on it.
3.0 Monitor your child’s attitude, words and actions very closely. These bad influences will manifest in them eventually. If you smell something fishy, do not approach your child at once because the more you do it, the more he will be interested in doing it. The best thing to do is to find ways to keep them away from your child’s eyes.
4.0 Pornography is not the only bad influence your children must not see. Illegal drugs, gambling, and violence are among them, too. But you will not be on a 24-7 basis to watch over your child so you should have detection-and-hide tools in your PC.

I discovered one, tried and tested it by myself and now recommending you to use it. The website is http://www.k9webprotection.com/. I do not need to discuss the details here because it is very user-friendly and by the way, it is FREE. However, you might be confused on the sudden effect on the blogs (even on your own blog) because it immediately hides some social bookmarking widgets. But you can modify the filter setting anytime. It depends on you.

With this, I would like to thank Mr. Bo Sanchez who unselfishly shares this idea on his site.

NOTE: I am neither inviting nor discouraging you to join his ministry, and I am not in any form connected with him. Religion is a different matter and it is not being discussed here. However, I am strongly suggesting you to visit his site to gain more tips on how to be a responsible parent and individual.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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Is your Child Clumsy?

Does your child find it hard to ride a bike? Or he cannot speak or write well? Then he may be suffering from DYSPRAXIA. According to Irene Helen Zundel , dyspraxia is difficulty with thinking out, planning and carrying out sensory/motor tasks. It is caused by an underdevelopment of the brain, and takes many forms. Some of these are:

1.0 Ideomotor Dyspraxia: the inability to perform simple, single motor tasks, such as combing hair or waving goodbye.
2.0 Ideational Dyspraxia: Difficulty with multi-level tasks, such as brushing one's teeth.
3.0 Dressing Dyspraxia: difficulty with dressing and putting clothes on in order.
4.0 Oromotor Dyspraxia: Difficulty with speech.
5.0 Constructional Dyspraxia: Difficulty with spatial relations.

Signs:

Ages birth-pre-school:

1.0 Late rolling, crawling, and walking;
2.0 Difficulty with steps and climbing
3.0 Difficulty putting together puzzles
4.0 Abnormal eye movements - a tendency to move the head instead of eyes
5.0 Difficulty in learning new skills
6.0 Slow speech development

In older children:

1.0 Difficulty in dressing and tying shoelaces
2.0 Difficulty using cutlery
3.0 Poor balance, awkwardness in gait, general clumsiness
4.0 Difficulty riding a bike
5.0 Difficulty in physical education classes due to difficulty with hopping, skipping, and throwing/catching a ball
6.0 Poor reading skills
7.0 Illegible handwriting due to an inability to grasp a pen or pencil properly
8.0 Trouble remembering/following instructions, suffers from a poor short term memory in general
9.0 Difficulty copying from the blackboard
Speech problems and difficulties in general with self-expression
10.0 Impatience
11.0 Poor social skills, emotional immaturity
12.0 Phobias or obsessive behaviors
13.0 Sensitivity to touch, intolerance to having hair and nails cut, or teeth and hair brushed
14.0 Poor sense of direction
15.0 Confusion as to which hand to use for a task
16.0 Difficulty in muti-step tasks such as brushing teeth due to an inability to remember the order of steps that need to be taken .

How to help your child:

1.0 Don't pressure your child to communicate. This will only frustrate him and inhibit him further. Instead, use repetitive verbal activities such as songs, poems and nursery rhymes to develop language skills.
2.0 Use sign language or picture board when necessary.
3.0 For motor difficulties, practice tasks with your child. Do them slowly and in the proper order each time.
4.0 Start with simple tasks and slowly increase difficulty over time.
5.0 Encourage physical activities to build coordination and confidence.
6.0 Be patient. Don't create an anxious atmosphere. It will only hinder learning and increase frustration.
7.0 Encourage friendships. Socialization increases confidence and rapport with peers.

My only son is now 6 years old, but he still cannot talk well. He was suffering from asthma during his early years. However, he is very good in writing and spelling, so if we could not understand what he is saying, he simply spells it or writes it.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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Is your Child Kleptomaniac or a Typical Thief?

Children are sometimes naughty in nature. But the problem is when he starts getting things that does not belong to him. However, parents should realize what the real problem is. In this way, they could find the right solutions. So here are some facts:

KLEPTOMANIA is the inability to resist impulses to steal. The things that are stolen are not needed for personal use or for their monetary value. This is a rare condition.

EXACT CAUSE: UNKNOWN. However, it often occurs with other psychological disorders which include:

1.0 Depression
2.0 Anxiety
3.0 Substance abuse (alcoholism or drug abuse)
4.0 Eating disorders (anorexia or bulimia)
5.0 Other impulse control disorders

NOTE: Kleptomania appears to be more common in females than in males but there are no other known risk factors.

WHAT TO DO:

Counseling or therapy may be in a group or one-to-one setting. It is usually aimed at dealing with underlying psychological problems that may be contributing to kleptomania. It may also include Behavior modification therapy and Family therapy.

Drugs used for treatment include:

1.0 Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which raise serotonin levels in the brain:
2.0 Fluoxetine (Prozac, most commonly used)
3.0 Fluvoxamine (Luvox)
4.0 Paroxetine (Paxil)
5.0 Sertraline (Zoloft)

IMPORTANT WARNING: Consult FIRST to a doctor or
FDA in your place.


A TYPICAL THIEF steals to get what they want either for their own use or for resale. They have no remorse for the theft. They may consciously commit thefts out of revenge, anger, to gain an exhilarated high from doing an anti-societal act, or to have something to do.

PROVEN CAUSES:

1.0 Your child believes s/he is unloved, or unwanted.
2.0 Your child believes at least in his/her own mind that s/he is not getting his/her fair share of attention.
3.0 Your child is jealous of his/her sibling's things.
4.0 Your child is jealous of his/her sibling's relationship with you.
5.0 Your child is an outsider amongst his/her siblings.
6.0 Your child has become the family scapegoat.
7.0 Your child may be stealing to gain peer acceptance.
8.0 Your child has wants and desires but no way to earn money to get them in a legal manner.
9.0 Your child may do it to get his/her fighting parents united in his behalf, even if he/she experiences punishment.
10.0 Your child may be stealing items and money for drugs and/or alcohol.
11.0 Your child doesn't understand that it is wrong to steal.
12.0 Your child steals for the adrenaline rush s/he gets from stealing.

WHAT TO DO:

1.0 Your child should know in advance what the consequences you will give if s/he chooses to repeat the offense!

2.0 Your child must personally apologize to the victim.
3.0 Talk about the how the victim feels. If it is a store, talk about how shoplifting causes you to pay more for the stolen merchandise. Point out that the child is hurting not only self, but everyone else s/he cares about!
4.0 If this is a repeat offense, this behavior will merit punishment. This could be taking away something the child values such as any of these: loss of freedom, privileges and free time.
5.0 If the child chooses to repeat the offense a third or more times the punishment may result in loss of them.

6.0 Let the child experience the consequences, instead of you feeling sad for him/her and getting him/her off, no matter how much pleading, bawling, and/or name-calling calling goes on.
7.0 The child may say that you don't love him/her, but if you take this opportunity away from him/her then you are opening the door for additional trouble to occur because the child knows they can get you to bail them out. Acting in this manner shows that you truly do not love the child.

REMEMBER: NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE IS, IT MUST NOT BE TOLERATED!!! THIS WILL TEST HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD!

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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10 Ways on How to avoid your Child to be Obese

We all know that an obese child is a child who has eating disorder habits. But what is really child obesity and how will parents prevent their child to be obese? Here are some facts that I have gathered:

A child is obese if their weight is more than 20% higher than the ideal weight for a boy or girl of their age and height. Therefore, parents should monitor the weight of their children, and seek for the
doctor's advice.

EFFECTS OF CHILD OBESITY:

1.0 Many obese children have high cholesterol and blood pressure levels, which are risk factors for heart disease.
2.0 One of the most severe problems for obese children is sleep apnea (interrupted breathing while sleeping). In some cases this can lead to problems with learning and memory.
3.0 Obese children have a high incidence of orthopedic problems, liver disease, and asthma.
4.0 Overweight adolescents have a 70 percent chance of becoming overweight or obese adults.

BAD NEWS: None of the new medicines to treat obesity are approved for children or adolescents to use. They may affect your child’s growth and development, and the risk of dangerous complications is far greater than any benefit they might have.

But there are a lot of ways on how to avoid your child to be one:

1.0 Be the role model. Obese parents will tend to have obese children.
2.0 Be supportive. Children know if they are overweight and don't need to be reminded or singled out. They need acceptance, encouragement and love.
3.0 Set guidelines for the amount of time your children can spend watching television or playing video games.
4.0 Plan family activities that involve exercise like go hiking or biking, wash the car, or walk around a mall or park. Offer choices and let your children decide.
5.0 Be sensitive. Find activities your children will enjoy that aren't difficult or could cause embarrassment.
6.0 Eat meals together as a family and eat at the table, not in front of a television. Eat slowly and enjoy the food.
7.0 Don't use food as a reward or punishment. Children should not be placed on restrictive diets, unless done so by a doctor (for medical reasons). Children need food for growth, development and energy.
8.0 Involve your children in meal planning and grocery shopping. This helps them learn and gives them a role in the decision making.
9.0 Keep healthy snacks on hand. Good options include fresh, frozen, or canned fruits and vegetables; low-fat cheese, yogurt or ice cream; frozen fruit juice bars; and cookies such as fig bars, graham crackers, gingersnaps or vanilla wafers.
10.0 Focus on small, gradual changes in eating and activity patterns. This helps form habits that can last a lifetime.

REMEMBER: NOT ALL FAT CHILDREN ARE HEALTHY.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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The Fair Grandmother

Our mother is the happiest person in the world when we have our new born baby, especially to our first child. As they say, grandchildren are the sweetest fruit of their labor. She is more excited than we are, I am sure. However, we might be overwhelmed with joy, and tend to overlook the possible problems in the near future, so I decided to point out some of them:

1.0 SPOILING OUR CHILD: Our first child may be her first grandchild, and the baby will be center of attraction within the family circle. She will give us all the advices she can give, based on her experience. She will even borrow the child frequently and spend so much time to baby sit. However, if you will not talk about it clearly, she has the tendency to spoil your child. Before it could happen, as a parent you have the right to agree or disagree with the way your mother treats the child. If you think your child is given too much attention and expenses, you must stop it before it is too late.

2.0 THE NEW BOSS: While we have our own ideas on how to raise our child, our mother has her own too. She may not like the way we discipline our child, the food, the clothes, etc, and before you know it, the miscommunication has began. Just like you, your mother has her pride too, and both of you want to win. Most likely, your child will be confused because he will be caught in between the situation. And the worst of it all, he will be the looser in the end. But if you analyze it deeply, both of you may be correct, and it is just a matter of agreement.

3.0 THE POOR MARTYR: If she cannot be the new boss, then she can be the opposite. And because she is sensitive, she will be upset if you will not follow what she wants. She will feel useless especially if she was the boss during her time. The next worst thing that would happen is that your child will be on his grandmother’s side, and now even your child will hate you.

It is not being unkind to tell your mother to stop, and tell her that she is wrong. You could also ask her gently to at least take some precautions. But you must be careful in mouthing your words, she is still your mother and at their age, they are a bit more sensitive than us.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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My Teenager got Pregnant!

The main cause of this is the child’s exposure and acceptance of pre-marital sex, and having an irresponsible boyfriend. This can be every parent’s problem if they are too loose or very strict with their young girls. What’s done is done, you cannot bring back time, but you can do something to lessen the problem:

1.0 ACCEPTANCE: In order to solve the problem, you must accept first that there is a problem. It is quite hard especially if you think you have done everything in order to keep your teenager away from it. But do not feel guilty; remember that it is your child’s decision to be in that situation, not yours. Moreover, do not blame your child; she needs support not punishment. After all, she is not alone. This is a worldwide problem.

2.0 KEEP THE BABY: Do not be the next murderer: Abortion is definitely NOT the solution. No matter who and what is the status of the father, you do not have the right to kill someone, not even a fetus. No country and religion allows this, and sometimes capital punishment is the penalty. In the first place, the baby has no fault at all and you would not want to be in his place, I am sure.

3.0 THE WEDDING: In most conservative countries like the Philippines, when a teenager got pregnant, wedding comes next automatically. Before deciding, remember that a teenager is involved here. There is a great possibility that the boyfriend is a teenager too. This means that they are not yet prepared to settle down. Belonging to the upper class family does not guarantee that these young parents can handle the situation. If you do this, you might be adding another problem, instead of solving it. Marriage is a commitment between two adults deeply in love with each other and capable of handling tough situations.

If this will happen to my daughter, I will not let her marry the guy if I think they are not yet ready emotionally, psychologically and physically. I would require the parents of the guy to agree with me, and maybe ask some financial support. I will ask the young parents to continue their life separately, finished their studies, and get a decent job. If they are ready and still in love with other, that’s the only time I will allow them to get married.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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How to Love your Step Children

Having step children can sometimes be a nightmare if we let them be. They are part of the package deal and you have to accept it. So you have to transform your nightmares into sweet dreams. Though it is easier said than done, it must be done. As a stepchild myself, here are some of my thoughts you might want to ponder.

1.0 BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER: It will always be that way. Your step child is NOT your own child and can never be yours. You cannot replace his biological parent, so do not even try to. Do not be offended if your step child does not like you at once. You must understand that it is not easy for a child to accept that he has a step parent, especially if the parent is still alive and close to them. If you have your own children, avoid showing bias in front of your stepchild but you also have to explain to them the situation.

2.0 REMOVE THE LINE: You must be the first one to adjust in this situation. You must know the child’s weakness before starting a communication because if you don’t, you will find it hard to start again. Get tips from your spouse, but do not let your step child notice it. Do not be impatient; this may take months and even years. However, do not let them abuse your status. Be consistent in your decisions.

3.0 PROVIDE SPACE: If you think you are really having a hard time to get close with your step child, I suggest you should provide a little space. It does not mean you are surrendering your authority, you are just showing how sincere you are and you are willing to sacrifice just to make them comfortable. Do not push the proposal. Remember that you are much older than them and you must be mature to face the challenge. This is one way of showing them that you deserve to be his/her step parent.

I do not have a perfect mother, but I have the best step mother in the world!

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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The Succesful Parents

When our child was born, being a successful parent is our main target. We strive hard in life to achieve this goal. We work, sacrifice a lot, and improve our living. But what does it have to be a successful parent?

1.0 A GOOD PROVIDER: Providing the basic needs of our children is a criterion. We are working very hard not only for the present needs of our children, but also for their future. We sacrifice a lot in order for our children not to experience the same hardships we had.

2.0 EXPERT IN TIME MANAGEMENT: This is the harder part. While we are working hard, we must balance our time to be there with our children in their happiest and saddest moment. We give advises, share our ideas, train and discipline them, and “play” with them. Sometimes, we neglect this part in order to be a good provider. We always say that “after all, it’s for your future”.

3.0 HAVING SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN: This is the best part. When someone says to you, “You are very lucky to have your son”, or “Your daughter has been very inspirational to me”, do not just be happy, think hard about it. Yes, your children might be successful but have you been instrumental to their success? Or your child has been a survivor, without your effort?

When we grow old, we tend to look back. Is this the outcome of all the hard work and sacrifices? Did I spend enough time to my children? Have I been a good parent throughout these times?

These are some questions you should ask your self before claiming that you are a successful parent.

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How to treat a Stranger Son

This is my story…

My parents were legally separated when I was around 3 years old and I grew up with my father together with my stepmother. My mother left for US and married again. I was 19 years old when I had my first communication with her. She sent me to college and things were quite OK then, not until we “first” met when I was 26 years. She had a 2-week vacation here. I was still single then and had my first job. So I thought our first meeting will be the best. However, it became the worst. I was very upset because I felt all she noticed was my mistakes. Although she said she was trying to look for me through our relatives here, she said I was very skinny, hard-headed and blah, blah, blah. I defended myself by answering back with bad words. Since we were strangers with each other, it was word war.

Our second meeting was when I was 32 years old, married and had my first child who was 2 years old then. She just came to see my family, but we hardly meet because we avoided each other. And worst became worst. She thought I am not being a good family man because I do not earn well, my daughter got sick frequently and things like that.

Our third meeting was really a nightmare! She was really mad because I had my second child who had asthma and was always in the hospital. I had many overdue bills, low paying job considering that I am an engineer by profession. Though she sometimes sends us money, we still cannot make ends meet. She was very frustrated on what I had been.

Through these years, she was still communicating with my wife, helping us financially, sending clothes for my children, but I never appreciated any of them. Although I said thank you to her, but because both of our pride, we still do not talk much. This is maybe because what I really want is have a mother who should be the first person to trust and encourage me.

Then last week, I learned that she’ll pay a visit again. So I was expecting my worst nightmare! Although I still cannot almost provide all our basic needs, the children are healthier and my eldest who is 11 years old can already help her mother in the household. This time, things turn differently. She is not too annoying this time. Instead, she tells us her plans how to help us, teaching us how to earn more and giving us some money to support our needs. Then, we began to share each other’s hard life and crack some jokes. Although she still scolds me every now and then, it now sounds like a good music. She starts to appreciate my small accomplishments like being not a drug addict, womanizer, or a thief. She also agrees with the way I raise my children. She never said sorry to me and vice versa, but I guess it was not our style. The more important thing to me now is that we are not fighting. We have more patience and understanding to each other. In fact, she also appreciates how I work hard on my blog. Now, I wish she won’t go back to US so we can live happily ever after here.

Now I learned so much how to treat a stranger son…DO NOT BE A STRANGER TO HIM.

Article Source:Happy Family Matters

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How to deal with a Naughty Child

Children can be naughty, which is normal. As child psychologist would say, it is not normal if a child is not naughty. However, parents should be very careful when giving disciplinary actions. Hurting a child too much is very dangerous. He might be rebellious, or have nervous breakdown which he may bring until he grows up. Besides, the law is very strict on this; you may be ending up in jail.
When your child becomes too naughty, definitely he must know that it is wrong. If he does it on the first time, you may scold him and tell him that what he is doing is wrong and what will be the effect of his action. If he does it again, you may scold him again and tell him that he will be hit if he does it again. If he does it again, you can tap his hand or foot, depending on what part of his body that has been “bad”, but not too hard. This is to show him that you are not joking and every “sin” has its own punishment. Moreover, never use “bad words” because there is a big tendency that he will imitate you.

However, there are children who are really difficult to handle. You must investigate this further. Observe carefully the people around him; maybe there is an adult or older child who is convincing him. If so, avoid your child to be near him. You may also seek assistance from a child psychologist.

When I had only my eldest child, I sometimes hit her “quite hard” for being naughty or clumsy, but I realized I made a mistake. I made it up with her; and do not repeat the same mistakes to my son. Now I only use my eyes to discipline them.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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My Child is “Different”

When we say our child is different, one might think that our child is not normal. Then we start to get angry to our child and even to ourselves, keep asking “why my child?” if this happens, chances are the child will also absorb your anger. We might also feel depressed and hopeless. Here are some “different” kinds of a child and how to cope up, somehow:

1.0 My child acts like a homosexual: This issue may have been tackled many times centuries ago, and many sites are also discussing it simultaneously. But to my point of view, being a homosexual is a choice. It’s a lifestyle and homosexuals are homosexuals because they love being one. I will be inviting endless debates if I will include religion and immorality here. So I think if you notice that your child has a potential to become one, and you do not like it, tell it to your child straight; explain what will be the consequence of his/her choice, and research some information to how to control him. Hurting them or even killing them won’t make them change if they do not want to.
Take note: I did not say I agree or disagree if my child will be one of them. What I am saying is that they are here, whether we like it or not. I face reality.

2.0 My child is sick: This means permanent disabilities like cerebral palsy, autism, and totally blind since birth to name a few. When your child has any of them, your world will crash and may ruin your belief, too. But if you think that this is just a test of your capability and sanity, you can change your child’s deficiency to efficiency.

2.1 Consult a specialist. Know everything about your child’s sickness, medication, therapy and how treat your child like a “normal” one.
2.2 Do not show your child that he is hopeless. Let him do the basic things he can do.
2.3 Cultivate his other gifts and I am sure he has one or even more. There are a lot of people who is suffering from cerebral palsy, but has proven themselves that they can do good, and even better than the normal ones.

3.0 I have a child genius: There are gifted children born with this “talent”, who have an IQ of a genius, like being able to do difficult math, or memorize long poems and different capitals of the world. Although you must be proud to have one, it is NOT always advantageous. This is because he will always be in the limelight, and he may not like it. Take note that he has also special needs like spending money in a “real good” school to satisfy his thirst for knowledge. There are also cases that they are not being recognized which can make him so depressed, and eventually become crazy. That is why parents should first realize if they have this kind of child or not, and must know the right person to ask for advises.

With all of this, “different” children require parents who have “different” gifts of love.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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Listen to your Child's Heart

Sometimes we get angry to our children when they do not listen, but the question is: do we listen to them? When we say listen, it does not mean we only hear what they say, we must also listen using our hearts to talk to their hearts. A simple question like “What are you doing, dad?” makes us mad especially if we’re very busy. Come to think of it, if they already know what you’re doing, do you think he’ll still ask you? But then if you ask the same question to him you want a quick answer, don’t you? So I think you are being bias here. Therefore, when our child tries to ask questions, you might as well realize these before answering:

1.0 He is not merely asking a question, he also wants a conversation with you, isn’t that sweet? There will come a time that your child will grow up, he will be very busy and has almost no time to talk to you.

2.0 He trusts you. You are his parent, that’s why he trusts you. He will believe on anything that you say, so be honest when you answer. If you think he cannot understand you; you can use very simple words to satisfy him. Do not wait for him to ask somebody else, or else, he might not ask you again.

3.0 There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. Your child’s question might be very basic to you, but for him it’s very important. Your answers may not yet be useful in his life, but you’ll be surprise when you hear him say, “Yes, I remember that, my dad told me about that when I was still small”.

4.0 Your child is intelligent. When he asks, that means his brain is working very well, he learns to analyze. He is also practicing his speech. So be thankful, not all children have the ability to talk.
So the next time your child ask you a question, pay attention and us your heart. You never know, this may be the last time you’ll ever talk to him.

When my son was already 5 years old, he could still hardly talk. But since we listen to him as if we understand him, he gained confidence which made him very talkative now, and we do not need to bring him to a child specialist anymore.

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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