How to Stop your Child from Bullying others

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It makes a parent mad when a child is being bullied, but what if your child does the bullying? Teachers and fellow parents keep on complaining about your child’s attitude and it can be humiliating on your part especially if you think you have been a good parent. So before starting a fight with them or hurting your child, you should know why and how to stop your child from bullying others. to continue reading

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Article Source: Happy Family Matters

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How Media affects our Children

Photo credit to Miss-Manson

Media is a great source of getting information, current events and even a useful tool for advertising and entertainment. There is no doubt that it is also a good business too. Without their courage, we will not be updated about the crooked politicians, natural disasters and even war. These are some of the reasons why we should thank them. But when does media becomes unhelpful, especially to our young children? As a father of a two grade school students, I am starting to see the bad effects of media to them and I am pretty sure most parents will agree with me.

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Article Source: Happy Family Matters

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What Non-custodial Fathers can do after the Divorce

I am still enjoying a happy marriage, but that does mean this issue is not interesting for me. Divorce is the worst thing that can happen, and we must admit that children are the ones greatly affected. Mothers are hurt too, and we cannot deny that. But then, what about the Fathers Rights? Does someone care if they are hurt too? In case you do not know, there are some fathers who are now suffering from their uncooperative ex-wives.

I am not a lawyer and I do not plan to be one, but it is still important for me to know what my rights are as a father. What if this happens to my brother, best friend, or even office mates? Non-custodial fathers may not be popular, but they also need help. Here is what I think one should do.

Know the law

You do not have to be an attorney to understand the contents of the Child Support State Laws. Read, read and read. Sinking them into your head may take you time, so it is better if you dedicate a time to study about it. The law looks complicated but it stresses out that the main concern of custody is the future of the children. It is the duty of the judge to balance the evidence presented and decide according to his mind and heart.

Ask a lawyer

Unfortunately, you have to hire a lawyer to help you. This may be hard on your pocket, but this is the way it should be. Get a family law question answered may be costly to some but you can also get them in a lower price. Go and find them. Be resourceful as possible. They are almost everywhere just waiting for you.

Fight for what is right

Fighting for what is right may take a lot of time and sacrifice, but go on and do not stop. Child custody factors might vary depending on where you stay, and we must cooperate with them. It is being courageous to fight for your right, but you should also consider the rights of your children. Do not fight for your self alone. The children need their father, and this is the most important reason why you should fight.

A child will not be complete without a father, since birth until the end.

You can also visit my latest blog - Father Blogger dot Com as it is being updated daily. Well, almost.

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Article Source: Happy Family Matters

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How to Quit Smoking Permanently

To quit smoking is the best decision of a smoker’s life. While it is easy to quit, it is much easier to start again. This is because of the addiction to nicotine that smokers cannot resist. Some former smokers use candies, chewing gums and other rituals, but in the end it is the self-discipline and motivation that will rule. But how do we do that? I have been smoking for more than 2 decades. I am not a professional adviser about this, but I am sure the following tips are effective because I am following them.

Ask a former smoker

A former smoker is the best tip giver you can meet. He will explain you why he stop, how he did it and how he is maintaining it. Their testimonies will tell you that after all, it is not that hard to achieve. One of the major reasons why quitters smoke again is the influence from their former comrades. Therefore, if you will always go with a former smoker, you can also be influenced and you will discover how rewarding it is to stop smoking. Fear is only in the mind. If he can do it, you can also do it.

Scare yourself

The best way to scare you is to look at the data with your own eyes. How many people are dying everyday because of lung cancer and the effect of smoking to our environment? You can also start looking at yourself in the mirror and check for signs of smoking problem. You may also want to visit your doctor for a complete check up. Most likely, results will tell you that you should already stop. My father was a heavy smoker. I am glad he stopped, half a year before he died of lung cancer. Aren’t you scared yet?

Challenge your self

This is dangerous because this can be a torture to your mind. This is called reverse psychology. However, if you pass these tests I am pretty sure you will not smoke again. Buy a cigarette but do not light it. Instead, put it in a place where you can always see it. You may also go inside a smoker’s cubicle and enjoy the smell instead of smoking. If you feel dizzy and suffocated with the smoke, a big congratulations to you! This means your body now reacts negatively with the addiction. You will find it harder to smoke again.

Compute

Let us say you are smoking around 10 sticks a day / half a pack, and the cost is $0.25 (PHP 10) a day which will be $1.75 a week, or $7.5 a month, or $91.25 a year, or just tell me when should I stop. Then compute how much you could have saved since you started smoking. Afterward, compute your daily savings since you start quitting. You will be amazed to know the things you could buy if you are not smoking. Not to mention the bills you will need when you are already sick because of your bad habit.

Announce the good news

Tell it to your family and friends, as well to everybody that you can share with. If you have a blog, why not make a post about it? This is a good topic and I am sure many will be happy for you. Be proud about your achievement. You will not only inspire others, but they will also serve as reminders to keep your word. If you feel like smoking again, read your post all over again. Remember that words are very important in blogging and trust is very hard to earn. You can fool others but you can never fool yourself.

This post is to tell everybody that I quit smoking 3 days ago and I plan to stop permanently. This is my third attempt to quit but I know I can make it this time.

I would also like to commend Raden of My SEO Blog and Debra of MamaFlo's Place for admitting that they were former smokers.

Smokers do not grow old because they die young.

Related post:
Confession of a Smoking Parent

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Article Source: Happy Family Matters

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How to Love a Long Lost Child

This is reality; some parents leave their child to someone else. This is maybe due to poverty, divorce, or other conflicting circumstances. Whatever the reason is, some parents get confused and think that they have no other choice but to be separated with their child. But faith has been kind, now there is a chance for you to be together again. However, your child is now a total stranger. Many things had changed and both of you are not ready to accept that. Before you get confused again, you might want to consider thinking about these facts:

1.0 Be realistic. You child did not grow up with you so do not expect an immediate sweet response yet. Although he might be also missing you a lot, the pain inside of him is not easy to forget. His personality might not be the one you wish he has, but you must face reality. He lived without you as his parent for a long time and therefore you do not know each that well. For now, be glad that you are seeing each other again.

2.0 Tell the truth. This is the hardest part but the most important one. Your child may or may or not ask you crucial questions like why you left him. In this case, tell the truth and nothing but the truth. This may hurt both of you, but this can also be a start of your good relationship. Do not blame his other parent for what you have done. He may not understand you now but time heals wounds, even the deepest ones.

3.0 Do not force your alibis. No matter how much sacrifice you had when you left him, they will all be excuses because the truth is, you still left him and nothing can change that. Do not make him feel satisfied just because he grew up with a better life like what you always wanted. Do not justify your actions by forcing him to believe that leaving him was the best decision that time. It is like convincing your self that you did not made a mistake.

4.0 Maximize your time. You cannot bring back the lost time, but you can maximize the time left. Every minute counts so do everything to be a good parent. Make him feel proud that finally, he has now a parent to share his ideas with, and leaving him is now a nightmare from the past. Help him in all you can emotionally, spiritually and if you still can, financially even if he has now a stable career. In short, give until the last drop of your blood simply because this is what you should have done right from the start.

You better believe me with these tips. I should know because it took me 20 long years before I met my mother, and another 20 longer years before we became friends.

Related Post: How to treat a Stranger Son

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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What Children Do Not Want From Their Parents

If there are some things we do not want our children to do, there are also some things our children do not want us to do. This logic is not being realized by some parents because they think that they are intelligent enough and know everything about being good. Parenting is not a one-sided relationship, but rather a two-way street where both of you could smoothly pass. To realize what I am trying to say, view these points and see what you might be missing.

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Confession of a Smoking Parent

I admit, I am one of them, and I have no good reason to justify my smoking. I stopped many times but I am weak to temptation. After all that has been said about the bad effect of smoking, I still keep on doing it, and I hate myself for doing it. However, please allow me to share what I am doing about it:

1.0 I do not smoke inside our house, whether my children are there or not. After eating, as they are the best times to smoke, I go outside and far away to smoke and chew some refreshing gum to make my breath fresh when I got home.
2.0 I do not smoke in public places, and anywhere where there are other people especially children. Of course, there are no children allowed in a smoking area.
3.0 I regulated myself, ranging from 5 to 8 sticks of cigarettes a day; and I do not bring a lighter when I travel.
4.0 I do not smoke 1 hour before I go home, and chew some refreshing gum during the trip.
5.0 I am conscious of what I am doing. Believe it or not, but I am planning to stop, hopefully before I got sick.

Yes, I know that there is no such thing as responsible smoker. Again, I know I cannot justify my bad habit, and I welcome and will not delete all the bad comments you can give, but I will appreciate more if you will give me some inspirational tips.

To all people especially parents, I know I may not be in the right position to say this, but do not put aside your health as well as other people especially your children, follow the BEST TIP YET: DO NOT START!

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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Mom, Who is my Dad?

This may be the most difficult question a child could ask to a single MOM. If you will notice, I really decided to make this a separate post. This is because I believe that this must be tackled differently.
Anyways, here are some dark past experiences a mother would not rather talk about to her child, but cannot hide forever:

1.0 I WAS RAPED!!!: This is the worst scenario a woman could experience. Having a child out of it is even worst. However, being a good person requires you to keep the baby, and you are so brave to do it. This should be the best character you must be proud of. Although you may have to suffer from another “rape” like endless rumors, self-pity, and low self-esteem, you have to provide some countermeasures, and stick with them.
To avoid further difficulties, it would be better if you re-locate yourself where you can raise your child in “normal” surroundings. If you are working, better get another one. This is not being coward. This is avoiding being “raped” again. Advise your relatives and friends not to talk about it again. Show them good reasons why it they should not.
Do not show any hint to your child about your dark past. This will bother him, and the question might be earlier than you expect. Again, you have been brave enough, so just continue. Live a life and let the devil live in hell.
Prepare for an answer to your child. If you have to tell “white lies” go ahead. However, you should understand that you cannot keep a secret forever. Watch your child’s attitude as he grows. By doing this, you may be able to find the right timing to “reveal everything”.
Lastly, you must be very strong when “revealing everything”. Be careful with the details, revealing the identity of the devil/s might result to another devil. Do not be the devil’s advocate. Remember that you are about his father, and you would not want your child kill his own father. Now matter how good you raised your child, one mistake could lead another. But if your child insists, then you should make an agreement first, that he would be a “good boy” until the end.

2.0 YOUR FATHER RAN AWAY: This may be the result of teenage pregnancy; your man is married before you gave birth, but not to you; or simply his father is too coward to accept the responsibility. All of them have a common denominator, you were not raped. You agreed to his “proposal”, and you are also somehow responsible for the result. Therefore, the man should not be blamed alone. The more you do it, the more you will feel guilty. What’s done is done; do not cry over spilled milk. The best you could do is to tell the whole and real story. This is not to destroy you and the father; this is to teach your child that life is made of bright decisions. Sometimes, lessons are learned the hard way. If you raised your child well, this will not be a problem. This might even help him to be a better person, and parent someday.

3.0 YOU HAVE NO FATHER: This seems odd, but it’s true. There are some women who just wanted a child, but do not want to have a partner. My cousin is a good example. She decided it because maybe she thought she would end like her, left by her father! She just “requested” a man to give her a child, that’s that simple. I remember I even became the “father” during the CHRISTENING because the priest would not allow a baby baptized without a father. I do not know what happened next because my cousin went away. Anyways, I think that she would do the same thing as “YOUR FATHER RAN AWAY”, except that it is you who ran away. Life is a decision; not wanting to have a partner does not mean you will not be a good parent.

Lastly, besides my wife being an adopted, and until now she does not also know any information about her real parents. Myths were told, and my aunt who adopted her has inconsistent stories. But mind you, my wife is a very good mother to our children, and I believe her drak past makes her even stronger!

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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How to handle being a Single Parent

Being a single parent may mean three things: you are divorced, a widow, or happily married but with your spouse is working very far from you, and seldom comes home. Though maybe these three situations have a common factor, they still have different approach towards being a GOOD parent.

1.0 DIVORCED: This is a tough situation especially if your divorce has just started. Chances are the kids do not understand the situation. There may be times your children would want to be with your former spouse which will make you more upset, considering that you EX has a good reason to be divorced. What parents should realize is that the children need the better (or worst) half too; and they have their own right even the law may disagree with it. That’s the truth, although it hurts! Furthermore, avoid telling stories to your children about the “wrongdoings” of your EX. After all, you may also have some of it too. And chances are your stories will be one-sided only. This way, you are teaching them not to hate. Let them research the “truth” and then decide for themselves. By doing this, you are also teaching them to be intelligent, analytical, and not to be judgmental. It will also be an advantage for you. Time will pass, you may learn to forgive, but of course, not forget.

2.0 WIDOW: Loosing your EVERDEAREST will crash your world, and sometimes may make you be the loneliest person ever to live! Mourning and crying is very natural for a normal person. However, you must not entertain this for a long time. Though it is better said than done, but you have to move on. Remember that you are still alive and your children will depend on you, especially now that there is no one else to run to. It is now that they need you most. Use your children as inspirations to re-build your life to be strong again. Accept the fact, and later on, you will understand the reason why it all happened. You may not realize this at once, but the hardest times in our lives can make us a better person, someday.

3.0 HAPPILY MARRIED BUT “ALONE”: There are times that someone in the house has to work away just to earn good money for the future of the children. This is very true, and “they” are increasing here in the Philippines. No wonder why children nowadays seem to be lost. But what parents should realize is that they belong to a happy family with big financial problems. This means that the only problem to solve is how to have a higher income. Here are some important things to be considered doing first before leaving:

3.1 Explain it to your children very well, including the advantage and disadvantage. They may not approve your decision but at least they have the right to know what is happening, and will possibly happen.
3.2 Be prepared for the result, and anticipate the worst. Do not be overwhelmed with the possible positive effect. Remember, it will be the whole family who will shoulder the hardship.
We are now in the generation where communication may be as fast as a lightning. During the first months, have some money to buy a PC and other gadgets for on-line communication. This is a very important factor to maintain the happy family.
3.3 Lastly, do not forget who you are working for…the children and their future. If you feel there will be a great danger if one of you is not around, stay “home” and do your best shot to make ends meet. After all, your savings will depend on your lifestyle.

I CHOSE THE LAST ONE…

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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Inspire Before you Expire

Nobody is perfect, and nobody will ever be! It is very hard to be “perfect” in front of your children, but it is nice to be remembered by your children being someone whom they have learned so much. Be patient while waiting in a long line in a supermarket with your son. There are also times that you cannot help but shout to someone over the telephone, or be mad when you cannot find your favorite neck tie when you are in a hurry for work, and simple things like that.

How can you teach your child to say kind words such as “PLEASE”, “THANK YOU” and “SORRY” if they hardly hear it from you?

NEVER quarrel in front of your children. You will be the worst parents if you do so. You must remember that children are very intelligent and they are looking up to you. Whatever we do in front of them is always right for them.

So the next time you are about to park your car in a “NO PARKING” place with your precious son, or before throwing your garbage just somewhere while you are on a picnic with your children, think about it twice! Or else, do not be surprise if your children will do the same, someday.

Inspire before you expire!

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips

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