Mom, Who is my Dad?

This may be the most difficult question a child could ask to a single MOM. If you will notice, I really decided to make this a separate post. This is because I believe that this must be tackled differently.
Anyways, here are some dark past experiences a mother would not rather talk about to her child, but cannot hide forever:

1.0 I WAS RAPED!!!: This is the worst scenario a woman could experience. Having a child out of it is even worst. However, being a good person requires you to keep the baby, and you are so brave to do it. This should be the best character you must be proud of. Although you may have to suffer from another “rape” like endless rumors, self-pity, and low self-esteem, you have to provide some countermeasures, and stick with them.
To avoid further difficulties, it would be better if you re-locate yourself where you can raise your child in “normal” surroundings. If you are working, better get another one. This is not being coward. This is avoiding being “raped” again. Advise your relatives and friends not to talk about it again. Show them good reasons why it they should not.
Do not show any hint to your child about your dark past. This will bother him, and the question might be earlier than you expect. Again, you have been brave enough, so just continue. Live a life and let the devil live in hell.
Prepare for an answer to your child. If you have to tell “white lies” go ahead. However, you should understand that you cannot keep a secret forever. Watch your child’s attitude as he grows. By doing this, you may be able to find the right timing to “reveal everything”.
Lastly, you must be very strong when “revealing everything”. Be careful with the details, revealing the identity of the devil/s might result to another devil. Do not be the devil’s advocate. Remember that you are about his father, and you would not want your child kill his own father. Now matter how good you raised your child, one mistake could lead another. But if your child insists, then you should make an agreement first, that he would be a “good boy” until the end.

2.0 YOUR FATHER RAN AWAY: This may be the result of teenage pregnancy; your man is married before you gave birth, but not to you; or simply his father is too coward to accept the responsibility. All of them have a common denominator, you were not raped. You agreed to his “proposal”, and you are also somehow responsible for the result. Therefore, the man should not be blamed alone. The more you do it, the more you will feel guilty. What’s done is done; do not cry over spilled milk. The best you could do is to tell the whole and real story. This is not to destroy you and the father; this is to teach your child that life is made of bright decisions. Sometimes, lessons are learned the hard way. If you raised your child well, this will not be a problem. This might even help him to be a better person, and parent someday.

3.0 YOU HAVE NO FATHER: This seems odd, but it’s true. There are some women who just wanted a child, but do not want to have a partner. My cousin is a good example. She decided it because maybe she thought she would end like her, left by her father! She just “requested” a man to give her a child, that’s that simple. I remember I even became the “father” during the CHRISTENING because the priest would not allow a baby baptized without a father. I do not know what happened next because my cousin went away. Anyways, I think that she would do the same thing as “YOUR FATHER RAN AWAY”, except that it is you who ran away. Life is a decision; not wanting to have a partner does not mean you will not be a good parent.

Lastly, besides my wife being an adopted, and until now she does not also know any information about her real parents. Myths were told, and my aunt who adopted her has inconsistent stories. But mind you, my wife is a very good mother to our children, and I believe her drak past makes her even stronger!

Article Source:Effective Parenting Tips