Marriage is a lifetime commitment between two souls deeply in-love with each other. Although nobody dreams to be divorced and couples worked hard enough to keep the marriage, some of them still fail. Consequently, there are those who also afraid to get married. There are many possible reasons behind their beliefs but one thing is for sure, they do not want to be committed. While I am a happily married man, here are some of the reasons I think why others prefer to stay single.
They are afraid of their past
I know how hard it is to be a product of a broken family because I came from one. Some children grew up miserable that they have a trauma about their past. They think that they do not have the ability to maintain a marriage. Another fact that would hinder one to get married is the past failed relationship. It is hard to recover from a serious heartache, some even gone crazy about it. But the worst is when you have a very bad experience before like being raped, which keeps on haunting you until now.
They are afraid of the future
Being married is not a joke, and it takes a strong person to withstand all the hardships that are coming in between. Some people are worried about the rapid increase of expenses and think that their future children will just suffer the consequences. Some professionals, like soldiers who are one-foot on the grave are afraid that their children may loose their father sooner than expected. There are also people who love their work so much that they think that marriage is only a hindrance.
They dislike children
Not all individuals love children, and you may find them weird. They do not like the idea of bringing someone to this world, as well as having sleepless nights when a baby is crying. They prefer to be with their partner alone for the rest of their lives. But just the same, they have their reasons so we must respect them. However, they will be lucky enough if they will find someone who will understand them. As they say, having children is a gift.
They have permanent disabilities
Some people were born without the gift of having a child. This incapability somehow discourages their partner to be committed with them. In addition, disabled people are also afraid that they will be just a cross-to-carry by their children someday instead of being able to raise them the normal way. Being married requires a lot of assets, physically, mentally and emotionally. It will be a burden if someone who do not have all of these but decides to get married.
It is the imperfection of the couple that makes a marriage last.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
Why there are People who are Afraid of Getting Married
How Parents can understand Teenagers
Photo credit to manganite
Parenting teenagers is one of the hardest tasks of parents. But some teenagers do not realize this and they think they are not being understood. Although parents were once teenagers, some of them really find it hard to understand the younger generation. This is because most teenagers are aggressive, fast thinkers and sometimes careless. That is why parents should always be there to guide and understand them. But their generation gap seems to be a long bridge for them to travel and meet in the middle. So here are some tips on how parents should start.
Free them
The average age gap between parents and their teenagers is 25 years, and this is long enough in terms of music trends, lifestyle and technology. Youngsters love the latest fashion, gadgets and music that you may not appreciate. You do not have to force yourself to join them if you don’t want to. But let them feel the same excitement you felt when you were at their age. Allow them to be young and enjoy life. Free them by helping them to spread their wings and fly high.
Listen to them
Teenagers also have the right to be heard. You must now lower your voice, and open your ears. Although their voices are still small, they have fresh and bright ideas to share. Listening to their suggestions does not mean yours are now being left out, it only means that they are concern with what is happening around them. You should be proud because your teaching is now getting good results. Let them voice out their critical minds. After all, it is their future that is at stake.
Trust them
Teenagers are sensitive enough to know if they are being trusted or not. It may be quite hard to trust them because they are young. But if you will not trust them now, when will you trust them? We must let go of them slowly and let them be independent. Being overprotective does not mean we love them, it may also mean that we do not trust them. Teenagers are confused where they belong – older children or young adults? The way we trust them will be the answer. Let them fly but be ready to catch them when they fall.
Read them
There are teenagers who are not transparent in their words but in their image. They may be intelligent and creative, but their silence prevents them to shine. They are the ones who love to hide inside the closet. Some teenagers express their curiosity, anger and anxiety through music, tattoos and extreme fashion. With this, parents must be smart enough to read their actions. Just like babies, they need attention too. If you cannot understand teenagers, the society will not understand them either.
Swallow your pride
Before you could do all of the above, you should first swallow your pride. If you want to understand teenagers, visit their world wholeheartedly. Teenagers change their mind easily not because they are crazy but because they are full of dreams. They want to learn about everything through experience to prove that like adults, they have their own space in this world. After all, we were in their shoes once. They are not dangerous though. It is only us adults who puts them in danger.
If teenagers can rock, then we as parents must roll.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Love your Mother
Photo credit to Tetê
This may be common sense but if you grew up like me without a mother, this is exciting to share. I have been transparent about my relationship with my mother. But all is well that ends well and I am so glad that we are now in good terms. At my age, I am still longing for a mother’s care, and how I wish I could have more time to show how much I love her. Nevertheless, this is what I learned during the four months of being together.
Care for her
We as adults have a life of our own. We work hard to earn money, settle down and raise our own family. However, some of us forget that they still have a mother to care for. She may not demand for an attention but deep inside, she is just waiting for you. It may not be our obligation to return the favor of taking good care of her when she is already old, but it is our love for her that will tell us to do it.
Respect her
Mothers are also humans who are capable of making mistakes. The problem with some children is they expect perfection from their mothers. If you think she has made wrong decisions in her life, respect her. Although they may be against to your principles and ideology, you are not in the right position to judge her. For all you know, she did it because she loves you.
Listen to her
Mothers can be sarcastic sometimes and she gives advises seem like a tape recorder that you hear everyday. You may even think she does not trust you especially when we were young. It is sad that some children become rebellious because they don’t understand that every word of a mother do not com from her mouth, but from her heart. You will understand her when you become a mother, too.
Scold her
Yes, scold her. Sometimes, our mothers are hard-headed too. There are mothers who are still working hard to help us but they forget that they are not getting any younger. She has been working hard since you were born anyway. They have to enjoy life too. Although this advice may sound bizarre, mothers also like to be scolded. This means that you care for her health. But be careful when you do it, mothers are sensitive.
Tell her
There may be endless ways to say I Love You, Mom! But the best way is tell this in front of her wearing your sweetest smile. Some adults are hesitant to do this and I find it absurd. Why is it so hard to tell I Love You to the person who brought you in this world? Do you know how many times she told you how much she loves you since you were born? So go ahead, tell her how much you love her and thank her for all the wonderful things she gave you, before it’s too late.
This post is dedicated to my mother, my wife and to all the mothers in the world.
Happy Mother’s day!
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How to treat a Stranger Son
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Make a Teenage Marriage Successful
Photo from cdglove2fish
Teenage marriage has a bigger tendency of separation than those with the mature age, as they say. This may be true because marriage requires maturity and a lot of sacrifice. However, one must remember that there are a lot of marriages that end up nothing and the cause has nothing to do with age. Therefore, we can say that teenage marriage can also be successful. Just to make myself clear, I am not in favor of teenage marriages but if you are planning to marry at a very young age and it seems that nobody can stop you, the following tips are for you.
Do not marry because of the baby.
Let us say that something that should not happen has happened, and of course you have to keep the baby. If you are planning to get married just for the sake of the baby, forget it. Although many would disagree with me, I still insist that you should think twice first before getting married. You cannot cover up a mistake with a bigger mistake. Being not married to someone who have your child does not mean you cannot be a good parent. Marriage is a union of two people, who are deeply in love with each other with or without a child.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
