How to treat a Stranger Son

This is my story…

My parents were legally separated when I was around 3 years old and I grew up with my father together with my stepmother. My mother left for US and married again. I was 19 years old when I had my first communication with her. She sent me to college and things were quite OK then, not until we “first” met when I was 26 years. She had a 2-week vacation here. I was still single then and had my first job. So I thought our first meeting will be the best. However, it became the worst. I was very upset because I felt all she noticed was my mistakes. Although she said she was trying to look for me through our relatives here, she said I was very skinny, hard-headed and blah, blah, blah. I defended myself by answering back with bad words. Since we were strangers with each other, it was word war.

Our second meeting was when I was 32 years old, married and had my first child who was 2 years old then. She just came to see my family, but we hardly meet because we avoided each other. And worst became worst. She thought I am not being a good family man because I do not earn well, my daughter got sick frequently and things like that.

Our third meeting was really a nightmare! She was really mad because I had my second child who had asthma and was always in the hospital. I had many overdue bills, low paying job considering that I am an engineer by profession. Though she sometimes sends us money, we still cannot make ends meet. She was very frustrated on what I had been.

Through these years, she was still communicating with my wife, helping us financially, sending clothes for my children, but I never appreciated any of them. Although I said thank you to her, but because both of our pride, we still do not talk much. This is maybe because what I really want is have a mother who should be the first person to trust and encourage me.

Then last week, I learned that she’ll pay a visit again. So I was expecting my worst nightmare! Although I still cannot almost provide all our basic needs, the children are healthier and my eldest who is 11 years old can already help her mother in the household. This time, things turn differently. She is not too annoying this time. Instead, she tells us her plans how to help us, teaching us how to earn more and giving us some money to support our needs. Then, we began to share each other’s hard life and crack some jokes. Although she still scolds me every now and then, it now sounds like a good music. She starts to appreciate my small accomplishments like being not a drug addict, womanizer, or a thief. She also agrees with the way I raise my children. She never said sorry to me and vice versa, but I guess it was not our style. The more important thing to me now is that we are not fighting. We have more patience and understanding to each other. In fact, she also appreciates how I work hard on my blog. Now, I wish she won’t go back to US so we can live happily ever after here.

Now I learned so much how to treat a stranger son…DO NOT BE A STRANGER TO HIM.

Article Source:Happy Family Matters



November 20, 2007 at 6:11 PM

What and inspirational story. Sometimes until we tell the story, people don't know what we have been through in life.


November 21, 2007 at 7:33 AM

Hi Iriegal! I really appreciate someone like you to have patience in reading a fraction of my life story! I never expected that and even posted a comment. Anyway, it is relief for me to share my story and hoping others would learn from it...thanks again really!


March 26, 2008 at 2:48 PM

Hi :) I just wanted to say thank you for commenting on my blog about my "step families' post. Your story is inspirational. Thank you for posting the link so I could read it :)

  Guardian Angel

March 26, 2008 at 3:08 PM

Hi Tina,

Thanks for taking time to read my life story. As I have told you, wounds can heal through time and effort.