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Family is the major source of happiness for most of us and it cannot be denied that living in a happy family makes the world a wonderful place to live in. It is in our family that we learn to support, care and love each other. Here in the Philippines, we are known to have a custom of close family ties. Filipinos care so much for their families more than anything else and most of the time, married children are still living with their parents. But why are there still some families that are happy, here and all over the world? Here are my observations.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
Why some Families are not Happy
What to do with a Drug Addict Family member
Drug Addiction is global issue and many families were destroyed by this problem. But if you will ask a family member who is into drugs, he will not even admit it. It is their outlet to release inner feelings and to ignore personal problems temporarily. However, we as concerned family members should take this problem very seriously. Here are some of the things we must do.
Acceptance
You cannot solve a problem if you will not accept that it exists. Self-denial will always come first and admitting that a family member is a dope addict is not easy. But if he will only realize that he has a problem, the addiction can be easier to treat. As family members, you must be among the first ones to accept them. By doing this, he will be the one to initial the withdrawal. Reality bites but the truth shall set you free.
Communication
All of us needs someone to talk to, and by simply listening can help a lot to treat him. Most of them are escaping from things that are bothering them. So instead of making judgments, why not talk to him or her? Although he may be hesitant at first, convince and assure them that you can be trusted. Dedicate a time for the occasion and be ready to be calm about it. But of course, the best time to talk is when he is not high on drugs.
Solve the problem
Simply talking does not resolve the problem although it is a good start. After listening to his complains, find the answers to the problems and make sure they are the right ones. This may take time but assuring him that you will always be there for him is a big help. Their problems are too deep and the guidance requires consistency. The problem usually involves feelings and the only solution is to bring back the happiness in the family.
Rehabilitate
Drug addiction requires rehabilitation and family members cannot do it by themselves. Besides solving his problems, he needs to be treated. Otherwise, the addiction will continue or might get worst because his body is already used to it. Drug Detox is the first major step to cure his addiction. Drugs and Alcohol Rehab is the best place to do it, although it is really not as easy as one could think. This will take a lot of sacrifice from everyone in the family.
Unconditional love
The damage has been done and you cannot bring back the time. This is not just the problem of the victim but also of the whole family, and each member must be willing to contribute to solve it. Instead of blaming him or her, help him by visiting him as often as you can do. It is this time to show that you really care, and forsaking him will worsen the situation. Do not just rely on the doctors to cure him as the best medication he can take is unconditional love.
There is still hope after dope.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to feel closer with your Family when you are away from them
Family is the basic community of all of us and although we can never have a perfect one, it is still family that we can run to when everything seems out of our control. As they say, we may have a lot of friends and can lose them anytime but our family will always be there. But there will come a time that you will separate from each other and we cannot avoid it. Some may be working far away while others will get married. With this, we must think of ways on how to be closer and here are some of them.
Trust and be honest
When someone is away, trust will be the only weapon we can use against all temptation. Do not believe in rumors that may destroy your good relationship. However, you must be honest at all times to gain trust. If there is something they should know, inform them at once. Although it may be painful, you should tell them the whole truth. They deserve to hear it from you rather than from someone else. After all, you can only run but you can never hide.
Maintain good communication
These days, communication is very easy where ever we are and we must make the most of it. Tell them that you are in good condition so they have nothing to worry about. Share good stories and reminisce the times when you were still young. Have an update on what is the latest news in your family and vice versa. If a problem arises, settle it at once. It will be more difficult if keep on fighting over it. There is nothing better than a civilized talk.
Send them ecards
All of us want to receive greeting cards from our love ones and it feels excited to send them too. Birthdays, weddings and other special days about our family are some the great reasons why we send one. Even if you are far away; you can easily send them and even personalize them. All you have to do is search the Internet and you can find quality and Free Family Ecards. They have a wide variety to choose from for all occasions and I am sure you can easily find what suites your taste.
Do not let long distance tear your family apart.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
About Fixed and Changing Parenting Tips
I would like to reserve this post as my entry to the 3rd edition of Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by The Working Mom whom I also call Doc Joey. The chosen topic this time is about parenting tips that I can consider ageless, which I learned from my parents and now passing on to my children, as well as the tips that I somehow changed to comply with the changing times. Although there are many of them, I choose the ones closest to my heart.
Respect for parents
Our parents are not perfect and will never be. I am a product of a broken family but it does not mean I have bad parents. In fact, I have high respect for my mother even if I did not grow up with her, and it did not even reduced even a bit through the years. I never questioned her abilities on being my mother. I always explain it to my daughter that sometimes we make wrong decision in our lives but the more important thing is we correct it. As a parent, we deserve to be respected because parenting is a very tough job.
Humility
As we grow older, we meet different kind of people and some are kind while some are not. My father used to remind me that what ever I will be when I grow up, humility should always be present. I worked hard to reach what ever I am enjoying right now but I am doing my best to always keep my feet on the ground. I am very strict to my children when it comes to treating other people. The people below us might be the same people who will help us get on the top. After all, the world is round.
Freedom
Being an obedient child, we follow our parents because they know better what is good for us. Some parents choose everything for their child even if the child does not want it. I am an engineer not by choice, but by force. Although my mother did not literally force me, she did not like my dream being a policeman then. She wanted me to be a lawyer and the result, I became what we do not want both. I can see my daughter as a good broadcaster journalist someday, but if she wants to be a model, I will support her all the way.
Communication
I still remember my father and I playing chess during my teenage years, but we never had funny moments. We always talk about serious things such as current events, politics and history. He is also fond of making jokes but not with me. In short, I do not remember him as my buddy. I am thirty years older than my daughter but I see to it that we have a very close relationship. I do not allow generation gap to be a hinder with our bonding time. I try to talk to her as an older brother instead of a plain father. In fact, we are now best of friends.
The most effective parenting tips can be found in the deepest part of our hearts.
With this, I am inviting all proud Pinoy parents to join this blog carnival. Please feel free to see the guidelines here at PPBC.
Related Posts - Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival previous entries
How to prepare your Child on his First School Day
Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival – My First Taste of Fatherhood
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Deal with Difficult Parent In-laws
Photo credited to hndrk.nl
Dealing with parent in-laws is the most critical problem of newly-married couples. The worst is some marriages were intentionally destroyed by the parents of either or both sides. This is maybe because some parents do not like their son in-law or daughter in-law from the very beginning. That is why it is very important to meet the parents first before marriage. However, if it did not happen or your first meeting did not have a positive result, you will now to face the circumstances. The suggestions below will somehow help.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Spot and Stop a Potential Suicidal Family Member
Photo credited to AprilM2107
A family member who committed suicide is very hard to accept especially if you really did not expect that he will do it. This decision does not consider age, sex and religion. We must remember that the major reason why people commit suicide is because of untreated depression. This depression has many causes and the most common ones are horrible disappointments, great loss and hopelessness in life. Most often, we can see signs that can make us conclude that committing suicide will be his next option. Here are some of them and hopefully, you will not take them for granted.
Vocal about death
Although you might just think that a family member is not serious about it, do some actions before blaming yourself in the end. You must stop him from saying that he does not want to live anymore; he hates his life and things like that. The best thing you can do is to listen to all his complains about life. A suicidal person needs an inspirational conversation, not silence.
Doing weird actions
On the contrary, there are people who suddenly become quiet in sharing his problems. Other weird actions may include giving away his valuable things, always irritable, less concentration about things; and negative change of physical appearance and behavior. With this, all family members should be very sensitive about the sudden change and immediate communication with him is required. Have time to lend your ears, not your anger.
Performing poorly
This includes performing at work or in school. Some students are afraid to bring humiliation to the family because they have very high expectations to him but failed. Some businessmen and workers committed suicide because they fear that they cannot be able to recover again after a great loss. Again, they should be calmed down and help him wholeheartedly instead of blaming him.
Loosing sense of humor
You must be worried if a family member stops from smiling and making others laugh. Although you do know that he is a serious type of person, he still must have some funny notes. Taking life too seriously does not only make one unhealthy, it can also easily trigger depression. This habit should be changed and we as his love one should encourage him to join you in fun times.
Drug dependency
Drug dependents and addicts are most likely to commit suicide. This is because of the effect of what they are taking. They are always hallucinating and are becoming to be mentally ill. Unfortunately, some families reject their members who are victims of drugs instead of letting him be treated. Their reason may be due to lack of money or to maintain their high status in the community. I can frankly say this is a stupid kind of reasoning.
However, there are also people who commit suicide without any sign at all. This is because he is good in hiding his feelings and problems. All we can do is to know all our family members well, have a constant communication and provide immediate help once we know about it.
In addition, some suicide survivors have a tendency to do it again so we must not just leave them in a hospital during the treatment. Someone close to him should always be beside him. More than medical doctors; he needs someone who can understand him.
So if you know someone close to you who may be suicidal or you yourself, please feel free to visit Suicide.org - Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support!
Do not worry, it is free to view and I will not earn anything if you do so.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
