Why Marriage Counseling cannot help your Marriage be Successful

I have been married for more than 12 years and in those times, it is not always the way we wanted it to be. We have been through many trials and turbulences that are undeniably scary. If we were not strong enough, I think we will not stay together for even a year.

Although we only have two children, things will be not so different if we had more. After all, it is still the strength of the marriage that counts. But if it starts to be a problem, the best solution that might come into one’s mind is marriage counseling, right?

I beg to disagree, my friends. While it may be true that the ultimate purpose of these save marriage counseling programs is to save your marriage, it is not a total guarantee that you will succeed. Can you imagine sharing your innermost secret about your marriage to a stranger? How can you be so sure that they are credible enough to help you? In this time of cyber age, is on line marriage counseling really effective?

Before I continue, let me share to you some of our major problems in the past and not so past but somehow, their shadows are still haunting us.

First of all, both of us have no parent in-laws who are always present to guide us on how to make our marriage successful. No one really helps us in raising our children and even take care of them when they are sick. If one of our children is in the hospital, my wife and my other child will also have to stay there and I have to be absent from work to assist them.

Secondly, I am the only breadwinner in the family and it is not a joke to earn a good living these days. Prices of prime commodities are drastically getting higher while our income follows very slowly. I even lost my job a week after my eldest child was born. It was only after 4 long months after I found a new one.

Thirdly, my work is surrounded by gorgeous and young ladies. With my position in the company, I can easily get some nice girls even if I am quite senior in age and without the looks of their dream boy. But I choose to be loyal although it is a difficult task. My wife is not perfect, but she has all the qualities I need as my lifetime partner.

With the above situations, do you think my wife and I need traditional marriage counseling to make our marriage successful? Let me share to you some of our daily activities.

High respect

We practice civilized conversation even if the morning sunshine does not glow on our eyes. We try to understand that both of us humans who makes mistakes but needs attention and a lot of respect.

Continuous effort

We start the day from the good morning greeting and end it with a good night kiss. It may not sound so special but if you are doing it for more than twelve years, it can be called continuous effort.

Maintain sweetness

My father told me once that my wife will always be my former girlfriend. I never miss a day without making my wife smile. My singing voice sounds like a jackhammer but I always sing our theme song.

Marriage counseling cannot help marriages be successful. It is discovering the correct program and your willingness that will do everything.

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Article Source: Happy Family Matters



June 17, 2008 at 1:01 PM

We never go to sleep with unresolved problem.

  Guardian Angel

June 17, 2008 at 6:19 PM

That's great, Mon. However, there are issued that cannot be solved right away.

Thanks for dropping by.


June 18, 2008 at 1:25 AM

Here's what I think. God will help those who help themselves. One can't act alone.


June 18, 2008 at 1:41 AM

i could not agree more. marriage counseling could not resolve marriage problems. perhaps for some, it is possible but i believe that it is the effort of both couple to solve their problems. no one understands them better than themselves.

i think respect is very important key. this is where everything circulates.

  Guardian Angel

June 18, 2008 at 5:53 AM

Very true, TH. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  Guardian Angel

June 18, 2008 at 5:55 AM

Hi Bingskee,

Thanks for agreeing with me. Just as I mentioned, it is not just respect but high respect.

  Karen Zemek, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry"

June 21, 2008 at 10:09 PM

You give some very good advice. Communication, high respect, nice beginning and ending to the day. I would like to add, go to bed together and don't smother the other partner--allow for some different interests.

Also, in some cases when things have gone wrong, marriage counseling may help. I wouldn't totally poo poo it altogether.

  Guardian Angel

June 22, 2008 at 4:27 PM

Thanks for adding, Karen.