Photo credit to ottojdamage
I have turned myself into a work at-home father 2 weeks ago when I decided to quit from my job, and will start a small family business instead. Although this is a tough decision, I know I made the right choice and I am so enthusiastic about it. However, I am making a lot of adjustments to my daily activities as a father, as a husband and as a provider. But still, I have discovered a lot of things, and here are some of them in case you want to be one.
Enjoy the morning rush
An office work requires us to be in a hurry in the morning, and we already got used to it. But that will change when we are already working at home. So I strongly suggest that you still maintain the morning rush this time to have a quality time with your family. Have time to enjoy the morning by assisting your wife while preparing the breakfast, and send off your children to school the way you have not done yet. But of course, do not forget that you still have to work.
You still have a boss
No boss, no worries. This might be the happiest moment of your life, but not really. Little children and babies are now your bosses, and you cannot resist when they call your name. Not to mention when your wife who may be asking you to help her in the clogged sink, or transfer heavy things. Unlike bosses that you can hide from, these people are depending on you. Note that they are your loved ones, and they should always be our priority when it comes to attention.
The intimidation is stronger
Sometimes, we get intimidated when an officemate or co-worker is annoying us. But at home, get ready for the worst. Garbage collector, noisy neighbors and barking dogs are only some of distraction that you can ever imagine. If you are a blogger like me, or a writer who needs a quite time to be able to finish a good post, the best time is more likely at night. But wait till your little angel calls you because of a bad dream. Therefore, you must be flexible and patient more than ever.
No more assistants
If you have a high rank in your former job like a supervisor, you have subordinates who you can designate tasks that can help you. But gone are those days when you have someone who help you with simple things, like photocopying a document. Now, you are at your own. Although you have some teenager kids to run errand, you will need to say “please” very nice or pay a “small tax”. I know you know what I mean. Now, you should be more cooperative.
We can work anywhere, as long as we know who we are working for.
You can also visit my latest blog - Father Blogger dot Com as it is being updated daily. Well, almost.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to handle yourself being a Work at-home Father
How to build Trust in a Marriage
Photo credit to Photobal
To have a happy marriage, trust is being earned, and not being bought nor being forced. The problem in building trust in a marriage is that they are two different individuals, and most of them they did not grow up together. It is only love that makes them one, and this love will not grow without complete trust. Remember that trust does not only include being faithful to your spouse, but also about everything concerning your marriage. So if you wonder how trust makes a marriage last, here are some of my thoughts.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
Worst Mistakes When You Get Married
Getting married with someone you really love makes you giggle and everything that surrounds you seems so wonderful. It looks like you will be enjoying for the rest of your life. However, marriage has its ups and downs and sometimes; we are the ones who make mistakes in the way we show our love. With this, let me share to you some of them that you must avoid.
Identity loss
There are people who are so much in love that they forget who they are. It is a nice feeling when we serve the one we love, and we always want to give all the best we can. But when you stop doing something good for yourself, then you are also starting to loose your own identity. It is not right to think that if you do it, your spouse will stop from loving you. In fact, keeping your identity will inspire your spouse to love you more.
Authority loss
Allowing your self to be controlled in everything that you do is not love. You should not be a slave in a marriage, and your spouse should not be always your master. You should use your right to speak up for your self and just follow all the instructions. Both of you should have the voice in making a decision. Do not give up your rights especially when raising your children. Marriage is not a one-man show, but rather a partnership in all aspects.
Over giving
Giving without expecting for a return is the best part of loving. In fact, this is the mystery of it. But forcing your self to give something that you can no longer give can be very harmful. Chances are you are spoiling your spouse and he will get used to it. Time will come that no matter what you give, it will still be insufficient and he will keep asking for more. Having no limit is like treating your spouse like a god. Anything that is too much can kill you.
Dependency
Having someone who will love you is a dream-come true. But this should not be your only dream. Marriage is not the only aspect in life one should enjoy. You also have to learn how to explore the world of reality. If you stop having other dreams in life besides being a better half, then your life will be revolving in one person only. Someday, you may have to live alone and you cannot do it because you already have lost your focus. Marriage is a union of two hearts.
Loving someone starts by loving oneself.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Quit Smoking Permanently
To quit smoking is the best decision of a smoker’s life. While it is easy to quit, it is much easier to start again. This is because of the addiction to nicotine that smokers cannot resist. Some former smokers use candies, chewing gums and other rituals, but in the end it is the self-discipline and motivation that will rule. But how do we do that? I have been smoking for more than 2 decades. I am not a professional adviser about this, but I am sure the following tips are effective because I am following them.
Ask a former smoker
A former smoker is the best tip giver you can meet. He will explain you why he stop, how he did it and how he is maintaining it. Their testimonies will tell you that after all, it is not that hard to achieve. One of the major reasons why quitters smoke again is the influence from their former comrades. Therefore, if you will always go with a former smoker, you can also be influenced and you will discover how rewarding it is to stop smoking. Fear is only in the mind. If he can do it, you can also do it.
Scare yourself
The best way to scare you is to look at the data with your own eyes. How many people are dying everyday because of lung cancer and the effect of smoking to our environment? You can also start looking at yourself in the mirror and check for signs of smoking problem. You may also want to visit your doctor for a complete check up. Most likely, results will tell you that you should already stop. My father was a heavy smoker. I am glad he stopped, half a year before he died of lung cancer. Aren’t you scared yet?
Challenge your self
This is dangerous because this can be a torture to your mind. This is called reverse psychology. However, if you pass these tests I am pretty sure you will not smoke again. Buy a cigarette but do not light it. Instead, put it in a place where you can always see it. You may also go inside a smoker’s cubicle and enjoy the smell instead of smoking. If you feel dizzy and suffocated with the smoke, a big congratulations to you! This means your body now reacts negatively with the addiction. You will find it harder to smoke again.
Compute
Let us say you are smoking around 10 sticks a day / half a pack, and the cost is $0.25 (PHP 10) a day which will be $1.75 a week, or $7.5 a month, or $91.25 a year, or just tell me when should I stop. Then compute how much you could have saved since you started smoking. Afterward, compute your daily savings since you start quitting. You will be amazed to know the things you could buy if you are not smoking. Not to mention the bills you will need when you are already sick because of your bad habit.
Announce the good news
Tell it to your family and friends, as well to everybody that you can share with. If you have a blog, why not make a post about it? This is a good topic and I am sure many will be happy for you. Be proud about your achievement. You will not only inspire others, but they will also serve as reminders to keep your word. If you feel like smoking again, read your post all over again. Remember that words are very important in blogging and trust is very hard to earn. You can fool others but you can never fool yourself.
This post is to tell everybody that I quit smoking 3 days ago and I plan to stop permanently. This is my third attempt to quit but I know I can make it this time.
I would also like to commend Raden of My SEO Blog and Debra of MamaFlo's Place for admitting that they were former smokers.
Smokers do not grow old because they die young.
Related post:
Confession of a Smoking Parent
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
The Buttered Househusband
Photo credit to s.l.o.w.p.o.k.e
Here in the Philippines, being a househusband is not quite acceptable because it is considered as a woman’s world and the culture says that the husband must be the one to bring home the bacon. This is not an easy decision especially if the husband has the higher education than the wife. But if the couple had no other choice, here is a list of important things to consider before having problems in the future.
Make an agreement
The wife should not oblige her husband to stay at home while she will do the working. This decision must be wholeheartedly agreed by both parties. You may start by considering the future of the children. Do some computations and evaluations in order to see the advantage. It is also better to talk about the potential problems and solutions especially if the wife will work outside the country.
Make proper endorsements
Most husbands are not familiar with the exact location of kitchen wares, flat iron, and other common household tools. Proper use of washing machine, time of bathing the children and other daily activities must be properly explained by the wife to her husband. On the other hand, the husband should give tips to his wife how to work safely, short cuts and landmarks, cheap gasoline stations and other travel and working tips.
Maintain healthy communication
Make open communication. Every end of the day, couples should at least ask each other, How was your day? Give some updates on each other’s daily activity, and do not neglect to compliment each other. You can even do these during office breaks or before the wife leaves her office. She should not also bring home her problems from work. Of course, she must not forget the passion of being a wife too.
Share the money talks
Although the husband does not earn money, the wife should still consult her husband how to spend the money wisely. Do not wait for your husband to ask money for his personal needs. You may buy him some but give him also to buy his own too. Similarly, the husband should respect the bread winner. You also know how hard it is to earn money.
Make the day-off worthwhile
During Sundays, the wife should do some cooking, bonding with the children and even help with their homework. The husband should also grab the chance to do some masculine work like fixing the fence, cleaning the car, etc. Also find some time to do some male exercises like physical sports and jogging. But do not forget that just like housewives, househusband has no day-off too.
It does not matter who works, it is the reason to work that matters.
Related posts:
How to Maintain a Family Budget Effectively
How to Add Fun and Laughter to your Marriage
Healthy Ways to Fight with Your Spouse
How to Avoid Money from Destroying your Marriage
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Handle Professional Rivalry with your Spouse
Photo credit to newlight2
It is common for some college schoolmates end up marrying each another. This is because they have one thing in common, their interest in the same profession. Doctors, lawyers, and engineers are some of the professionals who have their spouses in the same field of work. Although this is advantageous to a relationship, here are some problems that may arise and what to do about it.
Professional Jealousy
Time may come that one of you will be promoted to a higher position and it may create a professional jealousy somehow. This problem often happens when the wife got promoted first. If this happens, it does not mean that the husband is a loser, it means you are a good inspiration to your wife. It is this time that she needs more support from you. Getting promoted means greater responsibilities.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Survive in a Childless Marriage
Photo credit to Hocchuan
Children are precious gifts from our Creator and as they say, they are fruits of two couples in love. As others would say, a childless marriage cannot be called a family. However, there are people who are not born to enjoy this gift. This is really hard to accept especially for people who really want to have children.
But then, you love each other so much and all you wish for is to have a happy marriage. Apparently, some couples decided not to adopt a child but still were able to stay happy. So before another problem will affect your marriage, pause for a while and give time to consider some things.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to overcome Middle-age Crisis
photo credit to kimprobable
Parents who have just turned forty or a bit younger may start experiencing this problem. This is usually when the kids are grown-ups having a life of their own. They are now earning their own money and some of them probably had settled down. Now, the father and the mother are almost alone again. Consequently, these parents will experience some weird feelings inside out. Since they have been together for more than two decades as husband and wife, they feel that they have done almost everything and there will be no more improvement. Life will seem to be a daily routine. Here are some of the potential problems and how to handle them.
Lost of passion for romance
Showing affection to your spouse is vital to keep a happy marriage. Romance should always be intimate and sweet. However, as a person grows older his passion tends to reduce. That is why it is very important to keep the fire burning. Being romantic does not mean you should always be sexually active. Writing love letters, watching romantic films together and sharing sweet moments make a couple younger than their age. Find time to be alone sometimes, and visit the places where you have not yet been or simply enjoy watching the sunset together.
Physical insecurities
This usually occurs to wives after they gave birth. Her body will sag and she has no more time to fix herself regularly. She will also suffer from unbalance diet. Husbands however, will start loosing his hair and his usual body physique will drop. These physical changes may lead to insecurities and will manifest on their behavior. To handle this, you must be able to find outlets or hobbies that can somehow maintain your health and thus, bringing back your self-confidence. To enjoy these activities, it is better to ask your children to join you. Another advantage would be a better family bonding.
Chance of indecent affairs
Most husbands are afraid to loose their macho image and sexual ego. Since their wives are not in their usual attractive physique anymore and care less for sex, they will try to find it on younger girls. They will join their male friends on night out gathering and start having indecent affairs. Although this may only be temporary, it can still distract the closeness within the family. Your children especially the girls, will loose respect on you and your hardships during their younger days will be taken for granted. So if you are getting tempted, think about your family and your dreams when you were just starting. Spending money for a family vacation is a better idea.
Lost appetite for work
Retirement age is getting near and you seem to be tired of doing the same work you have been doing for years. The wife may also feel the same way, and there will be no more excitement in improving your career. Since your children can already handle themselves, you may find no reason to work harder anymore. To prevent yourself in loosing interest in your job, remind yourself the days when you were enthusiastic to learn everything. Find other things that might fit in your interest like the Internet. Do not be afraid that you are now being left behind by technology. Remember that life is a daily journey. Working is like parenting; it is a non-stop learning process. You still have to be a role model to your children and community.
Life begins at forty only if your family is happy.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
Housewives - The Toughest Women ever
Photo credited to jontait2002
Most of the time, when a housewife is being asked what her job is, the answer is, “I have no job, I am just a plain housewife”. But I think we are having the wrong idea that being a plain housewife is really plain because it is not, definitely not. Housewives may think that because I am a man, I do not understand the role of a housewife. On the contrary, please let me enumerate some of my ideas of a job of a housewife. After reading them, I wonder if you could still say that it is a simple job.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
Problems when you marry your Best Friend
Photo from GooseGoddessS
Many would think that marrying a best friend has a better chance to be successful, mainly because friends are like diamonds, they are forever. While this can be true, marriage is very much different with friendship. So before assuming that you are very lucky to be married to your best friend, I suggest you check out these potential problems that may arise.
Wrong feelings
It looks like very rewarding that you have the best of both worlds: friendship and love. However, you may be just confused with your feelings. Loving each other is totally different with being in love with each other. You have to talk about it seriously to make sure that you know what you will be up to. If you fail to do so, you will loose your best friend which is very painful.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
How to Add Fun and Laughter to your Marriage
Guardian Angel at Japan (2004)
I wish I am rich instead of being handsome. I told this to my wife after learning the expenses of a minor operation I went through 2 weeks ago. She then smiles and somehow, I made her laugh deep inside. Basically, being funny is one of my outlets to be calm about problems. Please do not get me wrong, I am very serious about life. It is just that I think being funny sometimes makes me more relax and it adds life to our marriage. I also believe that you need not be a professional comedian to make your spouse laugh. With this, here are some of my ideas I am using and I think they will also be applicable to you:
1.0 Do weird things. To minimize loneliness when I was in Japan, I decided to have a picture of myself standing outside during the intense falling of snow, without a shirt! When my wife received it, I know I made her laugh and somehow she forgot that I am away. You can still think of other ways like imitating TV commercials. Do not think that you may look like a fool. After all, this is the real purpose. Remember, being in love is foolish.
2.0 Play in the rain. Enjoying the rain is not for children only. Feeling the cold raindrops on your head and body helps a lot to release stress. It will also bring back your younger days. Before realizing it, you are both laughing and playing like children. Do not mind if you will be the center of attraction of everybody as long as you do not hurt others. Moreover, it is better if you join your children. If there is no rain, you can use a normal size water hose and enjoy the fun at the garage.
3.0 Crack a joke. This is my favorite. Although according to my wife, most of them sounds corny I still insist. This is because I do believe that telling some funny stories is an effective way of maintaining good communication between spouses. No matter how tough marriage life is, jokes can somehow help to ease your mind from worries. In fact, you can easily think of a solution to a problem when you are in a happy mood.
4.0 Play board games. Although outdoor sports look fine and healthy, playing Snakes and Ladders and similar board games provides better bonding. Waiting for the dice to stop is like watching a suspense thriller film. There may even have times that trying to cheat the game adds the fun. Since you are seating beside each other, you can also add romance by saying some sweet nothings. Winning is not really your plan. It is the fun that you get that counts.
5.0 Watch comedy films. I do not need to mention any funny film because there are so many of them. You can also be a regular follower of a funny TV show. Regardless of the comedian, great comedy acts can be a good topic when there is a need to create funny surroundings. When you think fate is not on your side, recalling them can also somehow lead both of you to the positive vibes. Filipinos as they say can always find ways to make fun out of a controversial issue.
Sometimes, having fun can be a serious matter.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
What to do when your Spouse meets the Ex again
Photo from TheAlieness GiselaGiardino
It is common to most married couples to have previous relationships before they got married. But what if your spouse accidentally crossed paths with the former sweetheart again? Then, you learned that the Ex is not yet married and still available. The problem is you seem to lose your good physique while the former sweetheart looked better than before. Suddenly, the Ex becomes your neighbor or will be your spouse' office mate. You will start to be insecure, and you will be scared of what might happen next. So before making any stupid action, I suggest you view the tips below and hopefully can clear your mind.
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Article Source: Happy Family Matters
